I spent hours trying to figure out how to get this from my iPhone to this blog. I am not very tech savvy. I know you all wanted to see me make faces like a three year old and act immature so you're welcome.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
The Vegemite Experiment
Kellie over at Delightfully Ludicrous sent a few of us who live in the states, tubes of Vegemite. It was to see if anyone outside of Australia could love the stuff as much as they do. Well, I can't speak for everyone but I can tell you that I did not love the stuff. I have the video to prove it.
I spent hours trying to figure out how to get this from my iPhone to this blog. I am not very tech savvy. I know you all wanted to see me make faces like a three year old and act immature so you're welcome.
I spent hours trying to figure out how to get this from my iPhone to this blog. I am not very tech savvy. I know you all wanted to see me make faces like a three year old and act immature so you're welcome.
Monday, July 30, 2012
I'm All About Solutions
One of the main reasons I am looking for a new job is that I am surrounded by people who pass the buck and finger point. I am completely disinterested in whose fault a mistake is. I am the person who will say, "What do we need to do to fix this? If _______ is constantly making this same mistake do they need coaching, or do we just need to find someone else to do this?"
I like myself. Therefore, I do not need to point out the faults in others. I just need to find out what is wrong and try and figure out how a solution can be sought and obtained. I have conversations almost every day with people who say things like, "Well, I wasn't trained on that and I picked it up" when I say someone needs better coaching and training.
I can honestly say I'm sick and tired of people who talk down about how others can't perform a certain task. Everyone has different strengths. While I can solve a really difficult math problem in minutes, I couldn't tell you why my computer is running so slow. I can spell words that most people can't even pronounce, but I can't draw a picture of a cat that doesn't look like a dinosaur. People need to realize that it's okay for people not to be as strong as they are in certain areas. I can swing around a 20 lb. kettlebell for an hour like it's made of air. I'm not going to wander around with my kettlebell testing people and yelling, "Oh, you can't do exercises with that? LOSER!" That's what most people do on a daily basis when they don't respect that other people learn differently than they do.
We need to recognize and focus on the positive. I realize this is difficult because some people have so little positive you'd have to pull them apart and dig through their bones to find it. I choose to just not involve myself in interactions with those folks. If I can't recognize and value a strength in you, I'd prefer to just spend my time with other people. If someone is having a hard time with a task, work with them to show them how to do that task. If it's something they just can't grasp, time to find someone else to train to do that. Stop making it harder than it is or constantly blaming by saying, "They aren't taking initiative." Or, "I don't think they're going to be able to do that." To me, you should be saying, "I have failed in training them correctly. Can I fix that, or do I need to tell them we have to find someone else to do this?"
Dave and I had our first fight the other night and it's because he always complains about one certain thing. I offered a solution to it and he declined. So I said, "You're not allowed to complain about that then. I tried to fix it and you didn't accept. Complaining over." I have a really hard time with people who offer lip service but don't back it up with action. If you say you feel a certain way, or you are sorry for a certain thing, you better damn well show me that your words hold their weight. Otherwise I have no time for you.
I know I talk a strong game about the way I live and the things I do, and it's only because I back that up with how I live my daily life and interact with others. There are so many people, even the ones I love, who I notice don't do this. Life is only as hard as you make it. Once you are an adult the decisions you make minute to minute are the ones that will dictate whether your life is drama-filled or simple, stressful or joyful, sad or happy. We all have our off days. I'm just trying not to have an off life.
Happy picture of the day: that is a guy walking down the street carrying a ginormous monkey. Now, I get it's state fair time. But it isn't like he got it out of his car to carry to his apartment. He was just strolling down the street at 7:30 in the morning, for BLOCKS carrying this thing.
I like myself. Therefore, I do not need to point out the faults in others. I just need to find out what is wrong and try and figure out how a solution can be sought and obtained. I have conversations almost every day with people who say things like, "Well, I wasn't trained on that and I picked it up" when I say someone needs better coaching and training.
I can honestly say I'm sick and tired of people who talk down about how others can't perform a certain task. Everyone has different strengths. While I can solve a really difficult math problem in minutes, I couldn't tell you why my computer is running so slow. I can spell words that most people can't even pronounce, but I can't draw a picture of a cat that doesn't look like a dinosaur. People need to realize that it's okay for people not to be as strong as they are in certain areas. I can swing around a 20 lb. kettlebell for an hour like it's made of air. I'm not going to wander around with my kettlebell testing people and yelling, "Oh, you can't do exercises with that? LOSER!" That's what most people do on a daily basis when they don't respect that other people learn differently than they do.
We need to recognize and focus on the positive. I realize this is difficult because some people have so little positive you'd have to pull them apart and dig through their bones to find it. I choose to just not involve myself in interactions with those folks. If I can't recognize and value a strength in you, I'd prefer to just spend my time with other people. If someone is having a hard time with a task, work with them to show them how to do that task. If it's something they just can't grasp, time to find someone else to train to do that. Stop making it harder than it is or constantly blaming by saying, "They aren't taking initiative." Or, "I don't think they're going to be able to do that." To me, you should be saying, "I have failed in training them correctly. Can I fix that, or do I need to tell them we have to find someone else to do this?"
Dave and I had our first fight the other night and it's because he always complains about one certain thing. I offered a solution to it and he declined. So I said, "You're not allowed to complain about that then. I tried to fix it and you didn't accept. Complaining over." I have a really hard time with people who offer lip service but don't back it up with action. If you say you feel a certain way, or you are sorry for a certain thing, you better damn well show me that your words hold their weight. Otherwise I have no time for you.
I know I talk a strong game about the way I live and the things I do, and it's only because I back that up with how I live my daily life and interact with others. There are so many people, even the ones I love, who I notice don't do this. Life is only as hard as you make it. Once you are an adult the decisions you make minute to minute are the ones that will dictate whether your life is drama-filled or simple, stressful or joyful, sad or happy. We all have our off days. I'm just trying not to have an off life.
Happy picture of the day: that is a guy walking down the street carrying a ginormous monkey. Now, I get it's state fair time. But it isn't like he got it out of his car to carry to his apartment. He was just strolling down the street at 7:30 in the morning, for BLOCKS carrying this thing.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
I Don't Vote In Elections
Second only to the gasp I get when I tell people I don't have Facebook, is if the subject of voting comes up. I haven't voted in an election since 1992, and I will never vote again. It is a personal choice, and not something I bring up unless someone asks me about it. Because of it I also don't talk politics very often. All I can say is I believe any person that has reached a high level in the political realm has taken a lot of money from special interests, and probably isn't someone I want to cast a vote for. So in order to be true to myself, I don't vote for people.
What I do is vote with my dollars. I try to make sure I shop with companies who have business practices I believe in. There are MANY places that will never see a dime of my money, because of their horrible human rights practices, or the way they treat their employees. I don't care how much of a "bargain" a store is, if they're making their employees seek out MediCal so they don't have to pay healthcare, I'd rather buy a more expensive product.
Now, pretty much all big business has done something or other that I don't agree with. So it comes down to making allowances. Target once gave a small amount of money to a Yes on 8 organization. I spend a ton of money at Target. I talked with all of my friends in the gay community and my activist friends and we all agreed it was a negligible amount and not worth an all out boycott. But I think like this every day. If I find out a company might be doing questionable things, I research and make my decision from there.
I think we all need to be responsible consumers. Does the car company who made your car clear cut in the rainforest? Do the shoes on your feet contribute money to racist organizations? Is that shirt on your back made by a company that pays its employees minimum wage and doesn't promote women? People need to decide what's important to them, and shop accordingly.
Now, it's perfectly fine if you just want to say, "All I care about is cheap price. I couldn't give a rat's ass about how a company operates." That's an honest way to live. I couldn't live that way, but if you can, more power to you. We just probably won't be friends.
Whenever people are having a discussion about how this or that politician is ghastly, or amazing, I laugh inside. Anyone who is ignorant enough to think the president of our country can truly effect the change he promised to make, is naive at best. There are so many checks and balances, and so many full grown what I call "adult children" who hate him just because of who he is, they will fight him at every turn, even if he's trying to do things that would benefit our nation as a whole. Sadly, I think this is getting worse in our country and not better. Something drastic will have to happen for people to actually step back, not care what political party someone belongs to and say, "Hey, that's a really great idea. What ways do we need to tweak and change it to see that it benefits people as a whole?" Until that is a regular sentence coming out of the mouths of people on the hill, I will continue to have no faith in our political system.
What I do have faith in is my fellow humans. Those folks who fight every day for what's right. They fight the minute they walk out their door by being a truly pleasant human being. They fight when they choose to take a walk or ride a bike instead of drive. They fight when they choose to use reusable products instead of paper and plastic. They fight when they make decisions that are not only for the betterment of themselves, but for the betterment of those around them. Sometimes I have little faith in humanity, but sometimes I have all the faith in the world. It is the little people who can make all the differences right now. So we should start doing it.
Happy picture of the day: the door to nowhere. We walked by this house and I immediately thought, "That's the door you tell the dinner guests, is the door to the bathroom, when you don't like them."
What I do is vote with my dollars. I try to make sure I shop with companies who have business practices I believe in. There are MANY places that will never see a dime of my money, because of their horrible human rights practices, or the way they treat their employees. I don't care how much of a "bargain" a store is, if they're making their employees seek out MediCal so they don't have to pay healthcare, I'd rather buy a more expensive product.
Now, pretty much all big business has done something or other that I don't agree with. So it comes down to making allowances. Target once gave a small amount of money to a Yes on 8 organization. I spend a ton of money at Target. I talked with all of my friends in the gay community and my activist friends and we all agreed it was a negligible amount and not worth an all out boycott. But I think like this every day. If I find out a company might be doing questionable things, I research and make my decision from there.
I think we all need to be responsible consumers. Does the car company who made your car clear cut in the rainforest? Do the shoes on your feet contribute money to racist organizations? Is that shirt on your back made by a company that pays its employees minimum wage and doesn't promote women? People need to decide what's important to them, and shop accordingly.
Now, it's perfectly fine if you just want to say, "All I care about is cheap price. I couldn't give a rat's ass about how a company operates." That's an honest way to live. I couldn't live that way, but if you can, more power to you. We just probably won't be friends.
Whenever people are having a discussion about how this or that politician is ghastly, or amazing, I laugh inside. Anyone who is ignorant enough to think the president of our country can truly effect the change he promised to make, is naive at best. There are so many checks and balances, and so many full grown what I call "adult children" who hate him just because of who he is, they will fight him at every turn, even if he's trying to do things that would benefit our nation as a whole. Sadly, I think this is getting worse in our country and not better. Something drastic will have to happen for people to actually step back, not care what political party someone belongs to and say, "Hey, that's a really great idea. What ways do we need to tweak and change it to see that it benefits people as a whole?" Until that is a regular sentence coming out of the mouths of people on the hill, I will continue to have no faith in our political system.
What I do have faith in is my fellow humans. Those folks who fight every day for what's right. They fight the minute they walk out their door by being a truly pleasant human being. They fight when they choose to take a walk or ride a bike instead of drive. They fight when they choose to use reusable products instead of paper and plastic. They fight when they make decisions that are not only for the betterment of themselves, but for the betterment of those around them. Sometimes I have little faith in humanity, but sometimes I have all the faith in the world. It is the little people who can make all the differences right now. So we should start doing it.
Happy picture of the day: the door to nowhere. We walked by this house and I immediately thought, "That's the door you tell the dinner guests, is the door to the bathroom, when you don't like them."
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Creature of Habit
Because of all the misfires in my brain it has been necessary for me to create systems. There are things I do the same exact way, in the same exact order, every day. I have to do this or I'll forget something of importance. One time I was interrupted in the middle of my shower and was changing for gym class only to discover I'd forgotten to shave my right leg. That will always happen whenever I'm in the middle of one of my routines and it gets interrupted.
Every morning when my alarm goes off I immediately go in to the bathroom and brush and floss my teeth. Then I turn on the iron, and go in the kitchen and put all the dishes on the drying mat away. Then I empty the litterbox and sweep around it. Then I wash my hands. I go in to the room and pick out my work clothes, iron them, and lay them out. I go in to the bathroom and turn the shower on, then go back and unplug the iron and fold up the ironing board. By this time the shower is nice and warm. I do everything in the shower in the same order every day. Unless I skip a day. And I'm not going to lie, sometimes I skip a day. But rarely, since I now do a lot more exercising. I need to shower sometimes more than once a day. Before I leave the house I make sure my lunch and a piece of fruit are in my bag, and I have closed all the windows. I then pull out stuff from the freezer for dinner.
I used to always find something I liked at a restaurant and order it every time, because of fear I would order something else and not like it. I have broken out of that habit. Because there are so many things I HAVE to do the same every day, I try and create variety in other places in my life. Like the books I read, the music I listen to, the movies I watch, etc.
I walk to work the same way every day, and my path back to the car is a different route. I get home, check the mailbox, get inside and put all my stuff back where it belongs (coffee cup and phone charger), then feed the cats. I sweep around the litterbox and go in to my room. If I am not going anywhere or having company, I put on my pajamas. Then depending on what day it is sometimes I water my lawns. Then I pull out what I'm having for dinner 'cause it usually has an hour more to thaw.
I work out in my living room, or in the backyard every week night except Friday. Sometimes I put on workout clothes, but sometimes I just do it in my pj's. It depends. Sometimes if I want to have a lazy night I set my alarm for 5 am so I can go for a run or workout in the backyard in the morning, when it's cool outside. It gets pretty hot here in the summer, and I hate being hot.
I like my things just so. Not only do I like them just so, I NEED them just so. Since I know I can not control the world around me when I am outside my home, I really like that I can control the environment inside my home. It makes me feel safe. If something in my house is out of order it throws me off and makes me really uncomfortable. This is why the thought of sharing my home with someone has always frightened me. It's also why getting the cats was kind of a test. I had to see if I could still operate with things in the house not exactly how I wanted them to be. I'm slowly relaxing about some of my control issues, but I know for a fact some of them will be with me forever. Like the need to do the dishes before I go to bed (which I have now not done a total of three times since I've owned my home. Go me!)
There are some things that I can't stand when other people do, that I am slowly realizing aren't that big of a deal. There is one thing in particular Dave does that I HATE. But it's not rude, and doesn't really negatively effect me, so I'm trying to just let it go and get over it. That is huge for me. To have someone sitting next to me fiddling with their phone makes my fucking skin crawl. But I'm working on it. I don't need to understand why someone is so attached to their phone, or playing Boggle while we're watching tv. I just need to understand that it is something they enjoy doing, and be okay with that. Just like they have a lot of stuff I'm sure bugs them about me, like having to have my books just so. Or the fact that I go behind them and wipe down the counters after them. And the million other things that are totally annoying that I know I do. :)
I am a total creature of habit and I admit it. Some of those habits are good, and some I need to let go of. Some are a complete necessity so that I can continue to go through life without taking meds. Some are just habits I got in to from living alone so long that really are of no importance whatsoever. I am constantly learning about which ones are fluid and which ones are rigid. There aren't as many rigid ones as I thought there were. And hopefully, as I grow, there will be less and less rigid ones. That sure would be keen.
Happy picture of the day: here's Kymberley and I on the Giant Dipper. We had to buy the picture because we look so ridiculous. I love this picture.
Every morning when my alarm goes off I immediately go in to the bathroom and brush and floss my teeth. Then I turn on the iron, and go in the kitchen and put all the dishes on the drying mat away. Then I empty the litterbox and sweep around it. Then I wash my hands. I go in to the room and pick out my work clothes, iron them, and lay them out. I go in to the bathroom and turn the shower on, then go back and unplug the iron and fold up the ironing board. By this time the shower is nice and warm. I do everything in the shower in the same order every day. Unless I skip a day. And I'm not going to lie, sometimes I skip a day. But rarely, since I now do a lot more exercising. I need to shower sometimes more than once a day. Before I leave the house I make sure my lunch and a piece of fruit are in my bag, and I have closed all the windows. I then pull out stuff from the freezer for dinner.
I used to always find something I liked at a restaurant and order it every time, because of fear I would order something else and not like it. I have broken out of that habit. Because there are so many things I HAVE to do the same every day, I try and create variety in other places in my life. Like the books I read, the music I listen to, the movies I watch, etc.
I walk to work the same way every day, and my path back to the car is a different route. I get home, check the mailbox, get inside and put all my stuff back where it belongs (coffee cup and phone charger), then feed the cats. I sweep around the litterbox and go in to my room. If I am not going anywhere or having company, I put on my pajamas. Then depending on what day it is sometimes I water my lawns. Then I pull out what I'm having for dinner 'cause it usually has an hour more to thaw.
I work out in my living room, or in the backyard every week night except Friday. Sometimes I put on workout clothes, but sometimes I just do it in my pj's. It depends. Sometimes if I want to have a lazy night I set my alarm for 5 am so I can go for a run or workout in the backyard in the morning, when it's cool outside. It gets pretty hot here in the summer, and I hate being hot.
I like my things just so. Not only do I like them just so, I NEED them just so. Since I know I can not control the world around me when I am outside my home, I really like that I can control the environment inside my home. It makes me feel safe. If something in my house is out of order it throws me off and makes me really uncomfortable. This is why the thought of sharing my home with someone has always frightened me. It's also why getting the cats was kind of a test. I had to see if I could still operate with things in the house not exactly how I wanted them to be. I'm slowly relaxing about some of my control issues, but I know for a fact some of them will be with me forever. Like the need to do the dishes before I go to bed (which I have now not done a total of three times since I've owned my home. Go me!)
There are some things that I can't stand when other people do, that I am slowly realizing aren't that big of a deal. There is one thing in particular Dave does that I HATE. But it's not rude, and doesn't really negatively effect me, so I'm trying to just let it go and get over it. That is huge for me. To have someone sitting next to me fiddling with their phone makes my fucking skin crawl. But I'm working on it. I don't need to understand why someone is so attached to their phone, or playing Boggle while we're watching tv. I just need to understand that it is something they enjoy doing, and be okay with that. Just like they have a lot of stuff I'm sure bugs them about me, like having to have my books just so. Or the fact that I go behind them and wipe down the counters after them. And the million other things that are totally annoying that I know I do. :)
I am a total creature of habit and I admit it. Some of those habits are good, and some I need to let go of. Some are a complete necessity so that I can continue to go through life without taking meds. Some are just habits I got in to from living alone so long that really are of no importance whatsoever. I am constantly learning about which ones are fluid and which ones are rigid. There aren't as many rigid ones as I thought there were. And hopefully, as I grow, there will be less and less rigid ones. That sure would be keen.
Happy picture of the day: here's Kymberley and I on the Giant Dipper. We had to buy the picture because we look so ridiculous. I love this picture.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Crazy, Weird, and Wonderful
I am always saying things like, "Whatever is supposed to happen will happen" and "Just when you need a pick me up something awesome will come along." I annoy people to no end with my hippie mentality. But the reason I say these things is because I actually believe them.
Saturday night in Santa Cruz we had planned on going to this Indian restaurant. We walked in and the whole vibe of the place just screamed, "No!" to me. But I was with two of my girlfriends so I just kept it in and smiled. One of them realized the place was cash only and she didn't have cash, so we decided to go someplace else. We walked to a Greek restaurant that was really crowded and loud. I looked at the prices and said, "I don't have enough for this place. But you know what? I can just have a salad and appetizer and that'll be fine." At this point I'm starting to freak out a little.
We decide to go to a cheaper place across the courtyard. Now, this place is taking a little longer to take our order than they should, but it's really not a big deal. But one of the women I'm with starts to make a big deal and be vocal and a little rude about it. I HATE this kind of behavior in restaurants. It's not the server's fault you waited too long between meals and are cranky and hungry. It got so bad that I wanted to just get up and leave. But instead one of my friends told the lady while holding her arm, "You really need to relax and calm down." Luckily, when the food came it was all so delicious her mood changed and things went fine from there on out.
We had parked our car outside a music venue called The Catalyst. I've seen acts there like Deke Dickerson and Mike Ness. It's a great little place. As we're getting in to the car I hear someone yell my name. I turn around and there is my friend Patrick Sheridan from New Jersey. He was unloading equipment. His band was playing at The Catalyst.
I had no idea he was coming. If we had parked anywhere else, or left five minutes sooner, I would not have seen him. I gave him a huge hug and a kiss and was like, "What the hell? What are the odds?" He apologized that he didn't call to tell me he'd be in California but life had been busy blah blah blah. I told him I understood and that I was just really glad I saw him. I needed that hug from a friend right then. It was SO NICE. I hadn't seen him in about two years. Since he did the tattoo on my chest. He had also done the ones behind my ears.
My friends asked if I wanted to go to the show. I kind of did but I knew the music they played wouldn't have been enjoyed by the ladies I was with, as it was metal. So I just told him it was great to see him, and that I'd be in his neck of the woods next year, and I'd give him a call. It was a very awesome chance encounter and I'm glad it happened. I adore him, and I don't talk to him that often. The talented bastard has a special edition Ibanez in his name. He has a baby boy I've never seen in person, who's not even a baby anymore. I am looking forward to going and getting to meet his son.
Things really do happen for a reason. After a slightly stressful evening I got to see an old friend and get one of the best hugs ever. I really needed that and it totally made my night.
Happy picture of the day: Laffing Sal. She is an old animatronic lady from the Boardwalk. She's been around forever. She both amazes, and scares the shit out of me.
Saturday night in Santa Cruz we had planned on going to this Indian restaurant. We walked in and the whole vibe of the place just screamed, "No!" to me. But I was with two of my girlfriends so I just kept it in and smiled. One of them realized the place was cash only and she didn't have cash, so we decided to go someplace else. We walked to a Greek restaurant that was really crowded and loud. I looked at the prices and said, "I don't have enough for this place. But you know what? I can just have a salad and appetizer and that'll be fine." At this point I'm starting to freak out a little.
We decide to go to a cheaper place across the courtyard. Now, this place is taking a little longer to take our order than they should, but it's really not a big deal. But one of the women I'm with starts to make a big deal and be vocal and a little rude about it. I HATE this kind of behavior in restaurants. It's not the server's fault you waited too long between meals and are cranky and hungry. It got so bad that I wanted to just get up and leave. But instead one of my friends told the lady while holding her arm, "You really need to relax and calm down." Luckily, when the food came it was all so delicious her mood changed and things went fine from there on out.
We had parked our car outside a music venue called The Catalyst. I've seen acts there like Deke Dickerson and Mike Ness. It's a great little place. As we're getting in to the car I hear someone yell my name. I turn around and there is my friend Patrick Sheridan from New Jersey. He was unloading equipment. His band was playing at The Catalyst.
I had no idea he was coming. If we had parked anywhere else, or left five minutes sooner, I would not have seen him. I gave him a huge hug and a kiss and was like, "What the hell? What are the odds?" He apologized that he didn't call to tell me he'd be in California but life had been busy blah blah blah. I told him I understood and that I was just really glad I saw him. I needed that hug from a friend right then. It was SO NICE. I hadn't seen him in about two years. Since he did the tattoo on my chest. He had also done the ones behind my ears.
My friends asked if I wanted to go to the show. I kind of did but I knew the music they played wouldn't have been enjoyed by the ladies I was with, as it was metal. So I just told him it was great to see him, and that I'd be in his neck of the woods next year, and I'd give him a call. It was a very awesome chance encounter and I'm glad it happened. I adore him, and I don't talk to him that often. The talented bastard has a special edition Ibanez in his name. He has a baby boy I've never seen in person, who's not even a baby anymore. I am looking forward to going and getting to meet his son.
Things really do happen for a reason. After a slightly stressful evening I got to see an old friend and get one of the best hugs ever. I really needed that and it totally made my night.
Happy picture of the day: Laffing Sal. She is an old animatronic lady from the Boardwalk. She's been around forever. She both amazes, and scares the shit out of me.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Shake It
Sometimes I truly feel like I was born in the wrong time. I love all things mid-century. It used to be when I was really blue I'd listen to lowdown blue music, but now I listen to tap your foot, shake your booty music. And all of it is either old, or modern folks who are throwbacks. I dare you to listen to this and not bob your head and have fun. I DARE YOU!
JD McPherson - North Side Gal - JD McPherson is totally my husband. He just doesn't know it yet.
Billy Lee Riley - Red Hot - Any man that says, "Your gal ain't doodly squat" is keen in my book. Plus, remember way back when when I talked about men whose gals are so tall they sleeps in the kitchen with their feets out the door? CHECK!
Big Maybelle - I Ain't Mad At You - Just pause and listen to that voice. Yeah, you get it don't you? Big Maybelle owns a huge piece of my heart.
Big Mama Thornton - Rock Me - A little slower than the rest of them, but undeniably amazing.
Johnny Burnette - Honey Hush - Every time I sing the line, "Don't make me nervous, I'm holding a baseball bat" I feel like a badass.
Millie Small - My Boy Lollipop - I love the ska sounds of this song.
Wanda Jackson - Tongue Tied - Umm, it's Wanda Jackson. That's really all I can, or need to say.
The Cleftones - Little Girl Of Mine - One of my favorite uptempo doo wop songs. So good.
That's it for now kiddos. Rock out with your socks out.
Happy picture of the day: Loretta Lynn. Because Loretta Lynn makes me happy.
JD McPherson - North Side Gal - JD McPherson is totally my husband. He just doesn't know it yet.
Billy Lee Riley - Red Hot - Any man that says, "Your gal ain't doodly squat" is keen in my book. Plus, remember way back when when I talked about men whose gals are so tall they sleeps in the kitchen with their feets out the door? CHECK!
Big Maybelle - I Ain't Mad At You - Just pause and listen to that voice. Yeah, you get it don't you? Big Maybelle owns a huge piece of my heart.
Big Mama Thornton - Rock Me - A little slower than the rest of them, but undeniably amazing.
Johnny Burnette - Honey Hush - Every time I sing the line, "Don't make me nervous, I'm holding a baseball bat" I feel like a badass.
Millie Small - My Boy Lollipop - I love the ska sounds of this song.
Wanda Jackson - Tongue Tied - Umm, it's Wanda Jackson. That's really all I can, or need to say.
The Cleftones - Little Girl Of Mine - One of my favorite uptempo doo wop songs. So good.
That's it for now kiddos. Rock out with your socks out.
Happy picture of the day: Loretta Lynn. Because Loretta Lynn makes me happy.
Monday, July 9, 2012
I Am A Proud New Kitty Mama
I have been telling myself ever since I got Roxy and Molly, "These are not your cats. These are someone else's cats you are taking care of." But you know what? When you have cats for a year those little sentences start to mean less and less.
So then I started griping about them leaving fur everywhere. I moaned about how they destroyed a 1920s dresser I have, and my Archie Bunker couch. They were heathens and a huge pain in my butt. Yeah, that didn't work either.
On the 4th the family who left the cats in my care came over to retrieve them. I had already put Roxy in a cat carrier as I knew she scampers when she hears folks coming in my gate. I had been crying all morning. I was going to miss what had become my babies. Babies who slept in my bed every night. I sat and talked to Roxy as she meowed unhappily from her kitty cage.
Gail and her daughter walked in and I tried to put on a brave face. I told them their kitties had been loved and I had become far more attached than I even thought imagineable. I am not a kitty person. I am a tough lady who loves nothing....grrrr! Tears welled up in my eyes again as I told them where Molly was and that I would help them get her.
Then Gail looked at me and said something to the effect of, "You know what? Cats aren't really loyal animals. They aren't even going to remember us. You love them. You can keep them." I said, "Really?????" I hadn't realized how much I wanted to hear her utter those sentences until I was hearing them. I didn't want to give these kitties back. I loved them, and I wanted them to stay with me. So that's what happened.
I told Gail they are welcome to come over whenever they like. I said since the kitties hid they could come over some Sunday and I'll make a marvelous dinner. Usually when people are over the kitties will slink out a few hours in to check out the company. I also told her if she changes her mind to just let me know. I know if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't be able to let go of the kitties.
So I am now the proud new mama to two kitties. Kitties I can now say are my babies. Roxy is still huge at 20 some odd pounds, and Molly is still the mean girl who knows how pretty she is and attacks Roxy without provocation at times. Sometimes I'll hear a loud THUMP as Roxy jumps up on the kitchen counter to see if I've missed any morsels she can gobble. Sorry Roxy, you're in OCD clean lady's house. No crumbs for you here.
I am really happy that I get to keep the babies, at least for now. I mean, who could say goodbye to this face?
So then I started griping about them leaving fur everywhere. I moaned about how they destroyed a 1920s dresser I have, and my Archie Bunker couch. They were heathens and a huge pain in my butt. Yeah, that didn't work either.
On the 4th the family who left the cats in my care came over to retrieve them. I had already put Roxy in a cat carrier as I knew she scampers when she hears folks coming in my gate. I had been crying all morning. I was going to miss what had become my babies. Babies who slept in my bed every night. I sat and talked to Roxy as she meowed unhappily from her kitty cage.
Gail and her daughter walked in and I tried to put on a brave face. I told them their kitties had been loved and I had become far more attached than I even thought imagineable. I am not a kitty person. I am a tough lady who loves nothing....grrrr! Tears welled up in my eyes again as I told them where Molly was and that I would help them get her.
Then Gail looked at me and said something to the effect of, "You know what? Cats aren't really loyal animals. They aren't even going to remember us. You love them. You can keep them." I said, "Really?????" I hadn't realized how much I wanted to hear her utter those sentences until I was hearing them. I didn't want to give these kitties back. I loved them, and I wanted them to stay with me. So that's what happened.
I told Gail they are welcome to come over whenever they like. I said since the kitties hid they could come over some Sunday and I'll make a marvelous dinner. Usually when people are over the kitties will slink out a few hours in to check out the company. I also told her if she changes her mind to just let me know. I know if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't be able to let go of the kitties.
So I am now the proud new mama to two kitties. Kitties I can now say are my babies. Roxy is still huge at 20 some odd pounds, and Molly is still the mean girl who knows how pretty she is and attacks Roxy without provocation at times. Sometimes I'll hear a loud THUMP as Roxy jumps up on the kitchen counter to see if I've missed any morsels she can gobble. Sorry Roxy, you're in OCD clean lady's house. No crumbs for you here.
I am really happy that I get to keep the babies, at least for now. I mean, who could say goodbye to this face?
Friday, July 6, 2012
Who's Sick Of Me Getting Awards Already?
Well too effin' bad! 'Cause thanks to the lovely Kianwi over at Simply She Goes I just got another one. This one will probably make you laugh as hard as it made me laugh, as it is for a "sweet" blog. But she remembers my Unicorn post, and that is what made her give this to me. I am totally honored, and hopefully this will make it so that I can remember to be sweet more often. You're a doll Kianwi. Thanks again!
I am not following any of the rules of this award except for the random seven facts dealie, because most of the people I would give it to either aren't really sweet, or they don't participate in the awards stuff.
1. I am currently in the relationship that I have wanted to be in as long as I can remember. He's funny, nice, complimentary, and all the other things I want in a man. How's that for sweet?
2. I want an outdoor pizza oven at my house not just to cook pizzas, but because you can cook all kinds of other awesome stuff in a pizza oven.
3. I pray on almost a daily basis that Audrey, my beloved 2000 Civic, will last me three more years. I am really not looking forward to a new car payment, or higher insurance payments.
4. I love my janky little house more than anyone can possibly imagine.
5. I can't stand long fingernails. They remind me of dirt and filth. They gross me out.
6. I actually send out emails to friends when I have a huge bag of fruit given to me by my folks or friends, because I know they will make way better stuff with the fruit than I would.
7. Some day I am actually going to settle down and write a book. I think I have a lot to say and it could help girls with body image issues and anxiety problems.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Anxiety
I talk a ton about people not sweating the small stuff, and how you should really put things in to perspective. The problem is, I have a broken ass brain, that causes me to sweat tons of small stuff. Some of them I force myself to face head on as they are not things I will just accept, but some of them are stuff that will freak me out for the rest of my life and there's nothing I can do about it. The way I see it, as long as they don't impact my life too greatly, or cause grief to others, what's the big deal? I have a pretty extreme anxiety disorder. I am really open and honest about it, but I am also really good about internalizing it so if I didn't come out and say, "That is that way because I need it to be" most people wouldn't realize I even have an issue. I try to phrase it like this for folks to understand, "You know how you have preferences: like you love a certain shampoo, or you like to drive to the store one certain way? Now imagine if not abiding by those preferences made you stress out so bad you got a migraine, or it made you puke. That's what anxiety disorder is in a nutshell."
My main anxiety stuff in short order:
Crowds: I hate them. I hate not being able to walk at a reasonable pace. I hate having to listen to asinine conversations of those around me. I hate being packed in like sardines. I especially hate if most of the crowd is drunk. Dealing with dumb drunk people makes me stabby. I am working on this one. I don't go to many live music shows anymore. If I do I just stand in back where it's not too crowded, or go to shows where there is assigned seating. The last time I stood up front a drunk girl messed with my friend and it took everything in my power to just stand there and not hospitalize said person.
Clutter - I can't stand it. Not at work, and most certainly not at home. People marvel at the order in which I keep my cubicle. If I even have one stack of papers not in its proper place it makes me start to get physically ill. This is something that I have come to accept. It's not a big deal to me or anyone else that the space I inhabit needs to be clean and free of debris.
Towels, bath products: I have very specific types of towels I use. Also, I can only use a very specific type of toothbrush. I always pack a towel when I travel. This includes going to Unicorn's house.
Coffee travel cup: I have a coffee cup, and it is the only cup that I can drink coffee from. I can use paper cups if I'm in a pinch, but I can not use any other reusable travel mug. I have a few ceramic mugs at home I can use, but this one travel cup is the only cup I can drink coffee from.
Pillows: I have to use two pillows when I sleep at night. I absolutely can not fall asleep with only one pillow under my head. I don't care if these are super fluffy pillows, down pillows, flat pillows, or whatever. But there must be two of them under my head.
Traffic: This is one I'm working on. The more I drive in bumper to bumper stop and go traffic, the less I want to yank my hair out. This is one I'm going to conquer. I can feel it in my bones.
These are just the few that come to mind because you know what? I never even realized any of this stuff was an issue, until other people started saying, "Did you notice that you.....?" Then I went to the doctor when I was around 9 and explained all of this and was diagnosed with about ten different kinds of crazy. I don't really see it as something holding me back. I see it as a defining part of who I am, but one that I choose to manage and make sense of the best I can. These kind of things only hold you back in so far as you let them. Now, that's not to say some people don't have debilitating anxiety way worse than mine, like the folks who can't bear to leave their homes. I'm just saying I don't. And I'm really glad for that.
What I really have a problem with is when someone says, "So and so says they have ________ wrong with them, but I don't see it." Umm, you don't have to see it. And yes, there are people who play up or even make up stuff that is wrong with them to get attention. But why do folks care so much? If you don't like it, just don't hang out with or talk to that person. You can't live inside someone's head or heart and know how something makes them feel, and why do you care to? I find that's usually someone's own issue. I have had people actually tell me to my face, "You are NOT bi-polar. If you were you would act like this...." Oh really? When did you get your degree in medicine? And why aren't you making more money so you can keep me in hummus and fresh veggies genius? Seriously, knock it off folks. Stop worrying about the crazy, or non-crazy of other people. The only crazy you need to worry about is your own.
Happy picture of the day: awesome neon signage. Too bad the food at this joint isn't as good as the sign is. I am glad it still exists though, 'cause it's an amazing building and sign.
My main anxiety stuff in short order:
Crowds: I hate them. I hate not being able to walk at a reasonable pace. I hate having to listen to asinine conversations of those around me. I hate being packed in like sardines. I especially hate if most of the crowd is drunk. Dealing with dumb drunk people makes me stabby. I am working on this one. I don't go to many live music shows anymore. If I do I just stand in back where it's not too crowded, or go to shows where there is assigned seating. The last time I stood up front a drunk girl messed with my friend and it took everything in my power to just stand there and not hospitalize said person.
Clutter - I can't stand it. Not at work, and most certainly not at home. People marvel at the order in which I keep my cubicle. If I even have one stack of papers not in its proper place it makes me start to get physically ill. This is something that I have come to accept. It's not a big deal to me or anyone else that the space I inhabit needs to be clean and free of debris.
Towels, bath products: I have very specific types of towels I use. Also, I can only use a very specific type of toothbrush. I always pack a towel when I travel. This includes going to Unicorn's house.
Coffee travel cup: I have a coffee cup, and it is the only cup that I can drink coffee from. I can use paper cups if I'm in a pinch, but I can not use any other reusable travel mug. I have a few ceramic mugs at home I can use, but this one travel cup is the only cup I can drink coffee from.
Pillows: I have to use two pillows when I sleep at night. I absolutely can not fall asleep with only one pillow under my head. I don't care if these are super fluffy pillows, down pillows, flat pillows, or whatever. But there must be two of them under my head.
Traffic: This is one I'm working on. The more I drive in bumper to bumper stop and go traffic, the less I want to yank my hair out. This is one I'm going to conquer. I can feel it in my bones.
These are just the few that come to mind because you know what? I never even realized any of this stuff was an issue, until other people started saying, "Did you notice that you.....?" Then I went to the doctor when I was around 9 and explained all of this and was diagnosed with about ten different kinds of crazy. I don't really see it as something holding me back. I see it as a defining part of who I am, but one that I choose to manage and make sense of the best I can. These kind of things only hold you back in so far as you let them. Now, that's not to say some people don't have debilitating anxiety way worse than mine, like the folks who can't bear to leave their homes. I'm just saying I don't. And I'm really glad for that.
What I really have a problem with is when someone says, "So and so says they have ________ wrong with them, but I don't see it." Umm, you don't have to see it. And yes, there are people who play up or even make up stuff that is wrong with them to get attention. But why do folks care so much? If you don't like it, just don't hang out with or talk to that person. You can't live inside someone's head or heart and know how something makes them feel, and why do you care to? I find that's usually someone's own issue. I have had people actually tell me to my face, "You are NOT bi-polar. If you were you would act like this...." Oh really? When did you get your degree in medicine? And why aren't you making more money so you can keep me in hummus and fresh veggies genius? Seriously, knock it off folks. Stop worrying about the crazy, or non-crazy of other people. The only crazy you need to worry about is your own.
Happy picture of the day: awesome neon signage. Too bad the food at this joint isn't as good as the sign is. I am glad it still exists though, 'cause it's an amazing building and sign.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Apologies
I have gotten really good at apologizing lately. What I've noticed is that a lot of the time when I tell someone I'm sorry, they say something like, "You don't need to say sorry for that. It didn't even bother me." Oh, but I do need to apologize for that.
You see, if I do something that I don't like, I need to say I'm sorry in order to try and fix that behavior. Even if that behavior or something I said flew right past you, I still need to say sorry for it.
This weekend with Unicorn he had his phone in his hand a lot. It bothered me. I made a few cracks at him about how he was in love with his phone. It was all very childish and dumb. So last night on the phone I apologized for it. I told him that it really doesn't negatively effect me in any way if he is always checking his email or whatever, and I need to accept him for who he is or move along. He said it was no big deal. But to me, it was. Now, if he had been doing that while we were in the middle of a conversation or something, I would've just said, "Please don't do that while we're talking." But he didn't. He just did it while we were sitting watching tv, or sitting staring off in to space. What he was doing was in no way inconsiderate or rude.
I find that a lot of the things that bother us in others, are a reflection of things we don't like about ourselves. I have been thinking about how reliant I have become on my iPhone, and it makes me a little uncomfortable. So like a good deflecting American I have been rude to other people about it. It took me saying stupid shit this weekend, to realize I need to work my shit out instead of being lame to other people because of it.
I am really happy I'm so self aware now. It usually only takes me one or two days of doing something ridiculous, before I see it and can go, "Wow Melanie, you're being idiotic" and fix it. It's a nice place to be. When I look at the larger picture, of all the bad traits a boyfriend can have, playing with their smart phone too much is so unimportant. I need to step back and be a big picture person. I am no longer one to look for any and all excuses to dump someone before they can hurt me. I know I was guilty of that in the past. I'm glad I'm no longer that person. Because Unicorn is good, and I want him to be around a while. And the stuff I'm working on to keep him around for a while, will also help in all my other relationships.
Happy picture of the day: the place we ate dinner at on Saturday is near a cemetery. When we parked I looked across the street and saw a bunch of tombstones. It was morbid and fabulous. I was tempted to jump the fence and write, "Your name here" on all of them. But I didn't.
You see, if I do something that I don't like, I need to say I'm sorry in order to try and fix that behavior. Even if that behavior or something I said flew right past you, I still need to say sorry for it.
This weekend with Unicorn he had his phone in his hand a lot. It bothered me. I made a few cracks at him about how he was in love with his phone. It was all very childish and dumb. So last night on the phone I apologized for it. I told him that it really doesn't negatively effect me in any way if he is always checking his email or whatever, and I need to accept him for who he is or move along. He said it was no big deal. But to me, it was. Now, if he had been doing that while we were in the middle of a conversation or something, I would've just said, "Please don't do that while we're talking." But he didn't. He just did it while we were sitting watching tv, or sitting staring off in to space. What he was doing was in no way inconsiderate or rude.
I find that a lot of the things that bother us in others, are a reflection of things we don't like about ourselves. I have been thinking about how reliant I have become on my iPhone, and it makes me a little uncomfortable. So like a good deflecting American I have been rude to other people about it. It took me saying stupid shit this weekend, to realize I need to work my shit out instead of being lame to other people because of it.
I am really happy I'm so self aware now. It usually only takes me one or two days of doing something ridiculous, before I see it and can go, "Wow Melanie, you're being idiotic" and fix it. It's a nice place to be. When I look at the larger picture, of all the bad traits a boyfriend can have, playing with their smart phone too much is so unimportant. I need to step back and be a big picture person. I am no longer one to look for any and all excuses to dump someone before they can hurt me. I know I was guilty of that in the past. I'm glad I'm no longer that person. Because Unicorn is good, and I want him to be around a while. And the stuff I'm working on to keep him around for a while, will also help in all my other relationships.
Happy picture of the day: the place we ate dinner at on Saturday is near a cemetery. When we parked I looked across the street and saw a bunch of tombstones. It was morbid and fabulous. I was tempted to jump the fence and write, "Your name here" on all of them. But I didn't.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Perspective
If there is one thing I have gotten good at in the past few years, it's putting things in to perspective. That is not to say I don't occasionally gripe and grumble about my first world problems. I find it eerily coincidental that whenever I get in to one of my entitled white girl moods, as I'm prone to call them, I have something smack me in the face to remind me why I need to shut up and move on.
I have been really unhappy in my employment as of late. I'm working on it, but I have been a total whiney complainer about it. I have a job. I have a home. I'm never hungry. I have great shoes. I need to shut the trap.
The other day I went to Target to return a leaky container of laundry soap I'd purchased. When I got home I noticed there was a puncture hole in the container, and it had leaked all over everything else in the bag, and seeped on to my kitchen counter. I griped and groaned as I cleaned up the mess. Then when my friend got to the house I asked if we could swing by to return it before dinner. We did. The fella helping me was a grumpy early twenty-something, and I actually uttered the phrase to him, "You are the wrong person to be working the customer service counter. Now, if they had a whiney post teen angst counter, that would be the place for you."
The following morning I was driving to work and there was a homeless fella with a sign. I quickly gathered up all the change in my wallet and rolled down my window and motioned him over. I apologized, "It isn't much. I'm sorry." He had a huge grin on his face showing his total of two teeth or so and said, "Anything helps. Thanks so much!" He then went on to say that I just helped him to get some coffee, and how life was great. He made my day. I thought to myself, "Here is a man who has no home, who's covered in dirt, who has no idea where his next meal is coming from, and he's the cheeriest person I've seen in weeks. What the hell is wrong with the rest of us????"
It really recharged my battery and changed my whole outlook. I need these reminders and I can't help but think there is something out there in the universe that sends them to me. They happen way too often to just be by chance. I am eternally grateful for them.
I haven't complained about my job in days. I have been back to my smiling, look on the bright side self. I have been kind to others, and jovial, and when I visited Unicorn this weekend I was downright perky. It was nice. I am hoping to some day get to a point where I can switch gears like this on my own, without the help of a random stranger to nudge me out of the uglies.
So thanks random homeless dude. Random homeless dude who I maybe gave 50 cents to, who changed not only my day, but my whole life for a while. And in turn, you changed the life of those I care about who don't have to listen to me gripe for a while. You do good work fella. I just wish you could get paid for it, because you totally deserve it. If there were a career for, "Make someone happy, and in turn that'll make someone else happy" you would be rich as hell. It's a crying shame the position doesn't exist.
Happy picture of the day: funniest review ever.
I have been really unhappy in my employment as of late. I'm working on it, but I have been a total whiney complainer about it. I have a job. I have a home. I'm never hungry. I have great shoes. I need to shut the trap.
The other day I went to Target to return a leaky container of laundry soap I'd purchased. When I got home I noticed there was a puncture hole in the container, and it had leaked all over everything else in the bag, and seeped on to my kitchen counter. I griped and groaned as I cleaned up the mess. Then when my friend got to the house I asked if we could swing by to return it before dinner. We did. The fella helping me was a grumpy early twenty-something, and I actually uttered the phrase to him, "You are the wrong person to be working the customer service counter. Now, if they had a whiney post teen angst counter, that would be the place for you."
The following morning I was driving to work and there was a homeless fella with a sign. I quickly gathered up all the change in my wallet and rolled down my window and motioned him over. I apologized, "It isn't much. I'm sorry." He had a huge grin on his face showing his total of two teeth or so and said, "Anything helps. Thanks so much!" He then went on to say that I just helped him to get some coffee, and how life was great. He made my day. I thought to myself, "Here is a man who has no home, who's covered in dirt, who has no idea where his next meal is coming from, and he's the cheeriest person I've seen in weeks. What the hell is wrong with the rest of us????"
It really recharged my battery and changed my whole outlook. I need these reminders and I can't help but think there is something out there in the universe that sends them to me. They happen way too often to just be by chance. I am eternally grateful for them.
I haven't complained about my job in days. I have been back to my smiling, look on the bright side self. I have been kind to others, and jovial, and when I visited Unicorn this weekend I was downright perky. It was nice. I am hoping to some day get to a point where I can switch gears like this on my own, without the help of a random stranger to nudge me out of the uglies.
So thanks random homeless dude. Random homeless dude who I maybe gave 50 cents to, who changed not only my day, but my whole life for a while. And in turn, you changed the life of those I care about who don't have to listen to me gripe for a while. You do good work fella. I just wish you could get paid for it, because you totally deserve it. If there were a career for, "Make someone happy, and in turn that'll make someone else happy" you would be rich as hell. It's a crying shame the position doesn't exist.
Happy picture of the day: funniest review ever.
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