The moment I typed that Bob Marley got stuck in my head. I am one of the only people on the planet who DOES NOT like Bob Marley, so that is not such a pleasant thing.
I met up with Kris last night. He's a 27 year old fella from the UK who came here to check things out because he's thinking of relocating to the states. He was staying with a friend for free, but then the friend needed to take in another friend so Kris was going to be moved to the couch for a month. Not wanting to live in someone's living room, he put a message up on Couchsurfing.com that he was looking for a place to stay until February 21st and could help out with rent. He really didn't want to go home early but that was his other option. So I will have a housemate for a month, starting Monday. This should be REALLY interesting. I do not share space well. I like my things very much just so, and I am extremely tidy. But the extra money I'm going to get from him will lift some of my stresses, so it's worth it. He seems very nice and I think we'll do just fine.
I have been mulling over taking in a full time roommate for a year. But the more I think about it, the more I know I just can't do it. I will just make it work and cut some more corners. I get my tax return next month, and that can help with the finances until I get my step raise in April. But hopefully I won't get that step raise 'cause I'll actually have a new job by then. I have been applying like mad and still not even an interview. But I'm gonna keep plugging on.
The outpouring of texts, emails, and kind comments these last few days has meant so much to me. I'm still feeling really stressed and freaked out, but it's nothing like the place I was in on Tuesday. There is a glimmer of hope starting to rise in my heart. I didn't sleep for shit last night and I'm exhausted, but at least I don't think I am going to burst in to tears every other second, so that's nice.
I meditated last night for the first time in far too long. I centered myself and when I was done I made a list of all the things I am grateful for, which is a very large list. I am not embarrassed about my freak out. I'm actually kind of proud of it. I didn't hold it in and keep it a secret. While I am very open and honest on here, because it feels safe, I am not very open when I'm vulnerable with my friends in real life. I usually just pretend I'm totally fine, and cry by myself at home. I now realize that sucks way worse than just letting it all out and getting some feedback and support.
We are not going to be able to do the blogger get together in a few months. I talked with Heather and some of the other gals and financially it's just not really an option for any of us right now. But just know, any time any of you want to come to Northern California there is a great guest room with your name on it. We could go to San Francisco for a day and run around some really cool places in Sacramento. I just can't even think about trying to save up money for a trip right now. Maybe next year. Maybe when I actually get my promotion and make enough money to not be strapped at the end of the month. Great, now Bob Marley is out of my head but I am envisioning strap-ons. Oh, my brain!
Happy picture of the day: this. Because this will always make me laugh.