My Diet Is An Investment

I don't understand why most people eat like they are a human garbage disposal. This is the body that has to sustain us and get us around for years to come. Now, to be perfectly honest I pretty much WAS a human garbage disposal for years. Maybe the reason I take such an interest in what goes in to my body now, is because for years I filled it full of booze and chemicals, so now I feel like I owe it better treatment. At any rate, I spend a lot more on groceries and eating out at restaurants than most people do.

I only shop at farmer's markets, and small specialty grocery stores. I do not shop at supermarkets. I do use Target to get my cheap yogurt, condiments, and other things I just can't see spending a ton of money on. I would NEVER buy meat or produce at Target. I don't care about labels like "cage free", "free range" and "organic" because I've done my research and know that these labels in California are negligible at best. I know all of the hidden names for animal products in items. I know that a lot of red meat is dyed to look bright red in the store. I know that we need to change the law so that genetically modified food is clearly labeled.

My grocery spending, to what I make, ratio is far higher than most people, and I'm okay with that. What I put in to my body is an investment. Bargain grocery shopping is like me telling the world I'm not worth that investment, and I refuse to do that. On average I spend about 400 dollars a month on groceries just for me. That does include my kitty items, shampoos, razors, and cleaning supplies as well. I don't find that number to be obscene. I would find it more obscene if I ate all Trader Joe food out of boxes and then wondered why, years later, my body was failing me. I believe in preventing things, rather than treating them after they happen. My diet is a direct reflection of that. Sorry Trader Joe's fans, it's just that I don't know where there food is sourced and I can't support that kind of thing. I don't always eat locally, but I do for the most part and it's something I value.

This is not in any way meant as a preachy post. This is how I need to eat for my life. However you eat is your business. And hey, Friday night my ass is going to Taco Bell. I ate some pasta on Sunday that was imported from Italy. Talk about a carbon footprint. More like a carbon Bigfootprint. I realize and value how truly blessed I am to be able to afford to eat exactly how I want to. I know a lot of people can't do that, and it's a shame.

The amount of edible food wasted in this country is obscene. The fact that I had to sit in a meeting at public health and listen to someone talk about how they were destroying olive trees to keep the prices up really gets me steamed. You know what I did? I TOTALLY overstepped my boundaries and followed that man out of the meeting and asked if I could have a moment of his time. I said, "Hey, what if you guys all just donated any excess to homeless shelters around your area? That way you look like the good guy, and you can still keep the market from being flooded with excess product." He asked about picking prices. I said, "I know for a fact you could get people to come pick for free, and possibly even handle the deliveries." So now he's looking in to it. We also have groups who are now picking fruit at public parks that would otherwise fall to the ground and go to waste, and delivering it to food banks and such around town.

The fact that we are a society more concerned with time saving and simplicity, than feeding our children healthful food, is something that should alarm us all. Why is everyone so behind the 99%, but driving through a drive thru to feel their families? Hey, KFC has a bucket for $9.99, who cares what they do to their chickens! I for one can't live that way. And although I respect everyone's personal choices, I wish more people would get up in arms about people eating what is essentially food-like substances, instead of real food.

Happy picture of the day: the screensaver on my computer, and my iPhone wallpaper. I'm pretty sure most people who walk by this at work have no clue what it's about. If they did, I may get in trouble as it's slightly inappropriate. Go me!

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Acupuncture

I had my first appointment on Saturday and I'm pretty excited about it. It was extremely strange, but not at all painful. For some reason I thought the needles going in would hurt. The only feeling was a really strange smallish sting, then a sort of heat radiating out from where the needle had been placed. Right now we're concentrating on my lower back, and between my shoulders. My lower back issues are the result of a car accident many years ago. My shoulder stuff is just where I carry all of my stress. And believe you me, as peaceful as I try to be and as much as I meditate, I am pretty much a walking ball of anxiety and stress.

We began the visit with her asking me tons of questions about my lifestyle and diet. It was a very thorough consult and I felt very comfortable when she finally said she was going to exit so I could disrobe from the waste up and lay on my belly, and she'd be back in a minute. The room was very warm and she even had a special heater for my bare feet. I was mighty comfy.

She came back in and explained where she'd be placing the needles. I had some placed in the back of my heel, some at the back of my knee, tons in my back and near my neck, and one in the top of my head. I was SO tempted to ask her to grab my iPhone and take a picture of me dressed up as the human pincushion. I imagined I looked like Pinhead, even though I only had one needle in my head. I'm not going to lie, the head one was really strange and I swear I felt it there hours after I went home. She then did an herb cupping on my lower back and I left feeling woozy, and relaxed. I sat a few minutes before driving home and breathed in my car, taking in the cool afternoon air.

I plan on going back once a month, because of the cost. I have to pay for this out of pocket as my medical no longer does acupuncture referrals. The acupuncturist I went to is also a Chinese herbalist so a few months down the road we're going to talk more about my insomnia and anxiety issues. For now we're just focusing on the back pain. I've only had to take one pain pill since the visit, when I had been taking them every night.

It may all be in my head, but you know what? I'm okay with that. If it's all in my head that acupuncture is helping my back, then hey, it IS helping my back. I am glad to not be popping a pill every night to be comfortable, and I look forward to many more visits with Zoe (my acupuncturist even has one of my favorite names).

Happy picture of the day: my friend found this fabric and immediately called it Mel Fabrique, because the girl on the fabric kind of resembles me. I'm pretty sure as soon as the lady has it available for sale, I will buy a few yards. I may need a Mel Fabrique set of curtains, or chair, or DRESS!

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Blast From The Past

I spent a ton of yesterday reminiscing, in between being huddled over sick. I thought about the novels of Anne Rice. I thought about me in a Siouxsie and the Banshees tee, short skirt with a garter belt hanging out attached to thigh high checkerboard tights, and creepers on. I thought about the fact that at one point I used baby powder instead of regular powder on my face 'cause I wasn't white and gothy enough. I thought about my transition to a hardcore kid in huge pants, fitted shirts, and old school Vans and traveling across the country just to watch music. I had a great time in high school and college. I was one of the weirdos, but I was also in all advanced classes so I didn't get teased nearly as much as my friends. The kids who did tease me quit quickly when I came back with something that embarrassed them or just knocked them unconscious in the bathroom. Of all the memories though, my head always goes back to music. I went on YouTube and went crazy watching some of the bands I listened to, and got to see live, during those years. Here are some of my favorites:

Fugazi - Waiting Room
I was lucky enough to get to see Fugazi three times. Also, I wrote to them as a junior in high school when I was doing a report on independent music. Guy wrote me back and I really wish I still had that letter. They were one of the most memorable bands to see live. Absolutely amazing.

Jawbox - Savory
I only got to see Jawbox once. They are still one of my favorite bands to listen to. You may know this song from The Deftones cover. I am not a fan of The Deftones but they did the song justice.

Jejune - Fixed on the One
This band was so extraordinary 'cause they were bi-coastal. One or more lived in Boston and the others lived in San Diego. During this time there were SO MANY great bands coming out of San Diego it was insane. I still listen to most of them.

Jets To Brazil - Chinatown
Blake Schwarzenbach can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned. His voice is one of my favorites: gritty yet melodic. I love every band he's ever been in. Jawbreaker, and his new band The Forgetters. I recently saw The Forgetters and they put on a great show. A great, 10 dollar, in a punk run venue, show. There aren't enough of those around anymore.

De La Soul - Me Myself and I
These guys totally rocked my high school world. I was already listening to quite a bit of hip hop but they really stood apart. Smart lyrics and really catchy tunes. They made me happy. They were more like hippy hop. I got to see them in the early 2000s at a rave. It was so fun.

Public Enemy - Can't Truss It
This band got me in to more arguments with ignorant people claiming "reverse racism" than I care to get in to. The term is so ridiculous I can't believe how many hours I wasted telling people why they were stupid to let it escape their lips.

Manufacture - As The End Draws Near
I LOVED this song in high school. I danced to it at many a dance club. It's not until recently that I learned that is Sarah McLachlan singing. She started out as an industrial music vocalist. I kind of like that.

Inside Out - No Spiritual Surrender
This is what I like to call "Zach De La Rocha's good band." I actually saw them on a reunion tour right after the first Rage Against The Machine album came out. I asked him why the new broseph rock band. He said the band became something he never would've imagined. He quit the band shortly after. He was one of the most no nonsense hardcore singers out there. He traveled to protests and really practiced what he preached. Super good guy.

 The Cure - Boys Don't Cry
This band was IT to me in high school. I saw them three times and was madly in love with Robert Smith. Funny thing is: all the kids acted like they were terrible and they hated them, but now this band is considered one of the most influential bands out there. I saw one of the boys from high school who used to make fun of me, wearing a Cure shirt and I had to point and laugh at him.

The Smiths - How Soon Is Now
The first song I ever danced to at a dance club when I was 14 or 15. I can even remember the outfit I was wearing, which is strange 'cause I have very few distinct memories of high school. Glad this is one of them. I never got to see The Smiths but I did get to see Morrissey. Probably my favorite fan base of all time are the cholo Morrissey lovers. It's pretty awesome to see these kids run up and hug Morrissey, and more than a little strange.

Happy picture of the day: probably the most righteous kitty photo bomb in the history of kitty photo bombs. Molly thinks she's the star of this photo. Little does she know...there's a creeper way in the background.

Hats

I kind of love them. As I am home today with severe stomach issues I will keep this short. This is dedicated to the lovely HeatherL.

I may or may not have an addiction to headwear. I can't wait until winter every year so I can bust out my scarves and hats. My favorite hat of all time is the Kangol 504. I have a couple of them, in girly colors of course!

 Sometimes I sing Raspberry Beret when I'm wearing this, even though it's not a beret. 'Cause I can do what I want.

Did I mention I'm home sick with stomach issues that would kill a horse, so this is totally going to be a lazy picture post? I'll go ahead and mention that again right now.

 I also have a purple one. I'm special. 

I love this one. It reminds me of times past. Plus, it's darling with the little ribbon detail. 

This is the one I wear when I'm channeling my inner LL (circa I'm Gonna Knock You Out). 

I'm not gonna lie, this is my go to on bad hair days. 

I'm pretty sure I should only wear this one when I'm trying to solve mysteries. But I wear it more than that. 

This is just a small peek in to my hat collection. I also love beanies and knit caps. They just don't photograph as well. 

Have a lovely Monday everyone!

Dude, I Hella Love...

I was laughing the other day about how much I say dude and awesome. Now, I rarely say hella but as a Northern California girl, it has definitely littered my vernacular for more than a minute. I wear the "hella" badge with pride. Here are some things I hella love right now. Oh yeah, I used to say, "I heart" a ton, but got tired of it, so it is back to good old "I love."

This picture I took of Molly yesterday. That LemeLeme photo app allows you to do some great filtering and make things look awesome.

My red swingline.

I hella love:

Converse
Sweaters
Scarves
Fall leaves
Coffee
Kangols
Fiestaware
Better Off Dead
Laughter
Making fart noises
Learning new things (which obviously does not include de-fragging my own computer).

I was going to do a ton more but when I cleaned up my computer last night I did something wrong and it keeps freezing up. I'm finishing the post from my iPhone. Oh the technology!

Happy Thoughts

Because it was all I could do today to roll out of bed, get in the shower, and get dressed for work. Today's post is all the things right now that I can muster, to make me smile. Hopefully some will make you smile too.

This is my coffee maker, making its first pot of coffee in over a month. This made me pretty giddy this morning. Well, as giddy as you can get when you can't turn your frown upside down.


                                               



This makes me laugh every time I look at it. I still love you Ice, even with the "Are We There Yet" horrible show and all that nonsense. You have perfect eyebrows. That's really all that matters.

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I need this sticker for my car. I actually almost paid someone to make "girl reading" mudflaps for my Civic. Then I decided I needed to not spend that much money on something I didn't need. Then I proceeded to spend tons of money on something else I didn't need, more than likely.

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Frida Kahlo socks you say? If these socks don't make you smile, I have to wonder why you even read my blog.

Rich and I used to send silly pictures to each other all of the time. We haven't been lately, so yesterday I decided to send this to him. I don't think I ever take a self portrait without making a funny face, unless I am forced. I kind of think I should walk around with this look on my face at all times. No one could be mean or say rude stuff to you if you looked like this, right? I mean, they would either be scared of you because your face looks like you are on a perpetual rollercoaster in your brain, or they'd feel sorry for you. Either way, life would be less stressful. Until the face pain from holding your face like this happened.

The last cabinet I got from my friend Lauren. Pretty!

I have been listening to a ton of Anita O' Day the past two days, because I love her: Anita O' Day - Body and Soul.

Also, a ton of Chet Baker: Chet Baker - Almost Blue

Then I switch to this because old jazz performed by drug addicts may just send you in to a deeper depression: The Go Go's - Head Over Heels.

Have a lovely Friday everyone!

P.S. If anyone knows how I can turn off my word verification/captcha thing please let me know. I looked for an hour yesterday and couldn't figure it out. Until then, if you have a hard time leaving a comment, my email is in my profile. Feel free to contact me. I actually do respond to all emails. So much so that it annoys the sender usually. :)

All I Know Is

that I don't know. All I know is that I don't know nothin'. Sorry, I couldn't start with a post name like that and not sing Operation Ivy. Maybe you can, but I just can't. And now on to the post.

I know that if there is an empty bathroom with seven stalls, you should not come and sit in the one right next to me and pee. I do not want a potty buddy.

I know that the community around that boy in Ohio are full of it when they say he was a great kid and there were absolutely no signs that he was going to lose his shit and shoot up the school. Stop being in denial and love and help your kids people! Our country offers no preventive help for families and would rather just throw folks in jail later. Jails make money y'all! Having worked with kids for a while I know there were several that at age 4, I already knew were going to be trouble. It's pretty hard not to see.

I know that I'm happy that a lot of my favorite musical artists are being featured in movies and commercials. Some people are upset by this. I say MAKE YO' MONEY!

I know that even though last night was crappy restaurant night, it was also, "I had a great talk with Rich and get to love him a while longer" night. So that made the food taste better. It really did.

I know that in 13 days I will have been sober three years, and I am in more disbelief than anyone else about this. I have to thank my sponsor, and all my AMAZING friends for being so rad and supportive. God dammit, I just teared up typing that. I'm such a sissy lala. I know that, and it's okay.

I know that YouTube is no longer blocked at work so I can show you things like this brilliant and beautiful cover: Heartbeats that sounds nothing like the original, but I'm madly in love with them both. Original Version.

I know that today I miss my grandmother something fierce.

I know that I need to be way more happy about the happy times, and way less stressed out about the stressful times.

I know that I am going to make the best chicken with chimichurri sauce and roasted brussel sprouts for dinner tonight. Is it 6 pm yet?

I know that I never realized how much of a social butterfly I was, until I realized even though I said I was going to have a mellow March, I already have plans with six different people for this weekend. Why???? I SWEAR next weekend I'm doing nothing. Oh, except seeing my friend Mia who I stayed with in LA (when we ate with Adam Sandler...kind of).

I know that I feel the blues coming on, but I'm going to just ride it out and hope it passes quickly, instead of fighting something in a battle I can't win.

I know that blogging as short a time as I have, has already helped me to get the demons and crazy thoughts out of me and out in to the interwebz, and it is helping. I want to especially thank miss Abby from Abby Has Issues for her continued support and emails that make me feel like I have a friend that I haven't met YET.

I know that I need to stop typing and go get a muffin. What? I want a muffin!

Happy picture of the day: my huge kitchen. Do you know how many radical Risky Business slides you can do in this kitchen? Hella. That's how many.