Remember that fella Ricky that is the cutey face posing with the penis ice sculpture from my dating post a while back? Well, he and I have forged a pretty awesome friendship. He got a text from an ex the other day that got me to thinking how glad I am that I owe it to myself to tell people full of drama I want nothing to do with them.
His ex is someone he hadn't spoken to in a while and is not friends with. (Sounds kinda familiar to the me and Rich scenario) and she texted him out of nowhere and was giving him grief. I said, "Why did you respond to those texts? Just ignore her next time." He said he hasn't learned to do that yet. Well, it took me 35 years but I most certainly have, kind of.
Rich contacted me out of the blue two weeks ago asking about an art show that was coming up, and was I going. I, like the sucker that I am, responded. It turned in to him asking if we could try and be friends again, and me saying yes, let's have dinner. But after mulling it over I decided no. I decided he does not have the qualities I require in a friend, and therefore I did not wish to have dinner. I told him if I see him out and about I will be cordial, but he and I are never going to be friends.
It may sound unforgiving or harsh but I see it this way: if someone can treat you disrespectfully and without consideration, and you keep them around, you are reinforcing their horrible behavior. Not only are you having to put up with someone who arrives late, doesn't act appropriately, etc., but you are telling them, "Yes, continue to act this way. There are no consequences to you acting douchey so go ahead and keep it up!" I, for one, refuse to reinforce the horrible behavior of others.
We need to like ourselves enough to realize that being a friend or more with us is a privilege, not a right. A relationship with a good person is something to be forged and earned, and it takes effort on all parts to make it work. We need to let people know they can not be inconsiderate and treat others poorly, yet still have people who make excuses for them and accept that behavior. I see it as my duty as a human to let people know, "No, your shit won't fly here. And if more people liked themselves your shit wouldn't fly anywhere, and you'd be a lonely emm effer."
I am so glad that I now like myself enough to demand respect and consideration. Not so long ago I was surrounded with flaky people who couldn't care less how their actions effected others. No more.
I also fully believe that the reason I started attracting more quality men, good ones who were actually a joy to hang out with and nice people, is because I now give off the vibe of someone with confidence. It makes my interactions far more joyful. I had to tell a lot of nice fellas no thanks, and it's not that they were horrible people. It's just that they weren't good ENOUGH. And in that process I found that one who is not only good enough, but he is great. That would've never happened if I didn't experience all the growth I have in the past few years. So I'm really grateful to be where I am today. Even if I am dating someone who likes football. I kid! But it will be an adjustment to be a good hostess on game days and make nice. Who knows? Maybe I'll even learn to watch football without cringing. :)
Happy picture of the day: I was going to put a picture up of Unicorn but you know what? I'm going to keep that to myself this time. He's not getting shared. Take that! Instead I am putting up something that makes me ridiculously happy. Well, besides Unicorn. It's Billie Holiday, whom I love. This is from a site talking about one of her many run ins with the law. Almost every artist I love and adore, has been a drug addict. I have always said that true genius almost always is paired with drug use or some form of "crazy" behavior.