This Poly Life

Shut up! I know I'm unoriginal. And I LIKE This American Life and I'm not ashamed to be one of the billion white people who listen to NPR. I almost wrote white power and laughed about it. Then I realized that would be going too far even for me.

So I'm now about 4 months in to being a poly lady and loving it. I have experienced mostly ups, a few downs, but mostly I have learned so much about the nature of people, and about myself. It's been a very nice journey and one I look forward to continuing on with for the rest of my life. I did it and it stuck. I'm glad I delved in to it and I can honestly say the relationship I'm in, and the new fella I'm dating make me very happy. I went through a break up last week. Totally for the best. And I'm ready to move forward.

Last night I went to a cocktail get together of poly ladies. We made drinks, shared stories, and had a great time. We went around the room and explained how long we've been poly, what our current relationship statuses were, and just laid a foundation so we knew who in the room we had the most common with. It was really interesting to hear all of the different ways people go about this, and what works for some people. I think I was the only one in the room who was in no way interested in having a primary relationship. I am most comfortable dating people who already have a wife or live in partner. That's just what works best for me.

There were some funny stories, some sad stories, and some enlightening stories about break ups and new relationships. My gal pal Nay yelled out for everyone to share a "happy poly story of the week." There were tales of women receiving flowers and a six pack of beer. I shared about the new guy I'm seeing who is seemingly a super awesome guy, and how much I love his wife and daughter. After the happy stories when we were all sharing what was going on in our lives one gal shared that her situation was in a strife mode and her husband was preparing to move out. All in all, it made me more aware that even though everyone's story is different, we women have so much more in common than we don't. And seeing all of these ladies get up to hug the one who was having a tough time even if last night was the first night they'd met her, made me happy to be a part of this community. Really happy.

I think about the fact that there are some people I can't be out to and it makes me sad. I think about the fact that I can't exclaim to my mom, "I'm finally happy mom. I've found my niche" because she still has such old fashioned ideals of what love is. I don't want to break her heart. But maybe someday before she leaves this world I will feel okay with telling her the truth. Two women at the cocktail party had come out to their parents this week, and both of those stories were good ones with the moms just wanting them to be happy. Unfortunately, I know that I have a mother who would rather pretend I had one awesome boyfriend, than a few. If she ever asks point blank I will tell her. But I know she never will. So she will always just get the, "I'm seeing a few people" answer to asking how my love life is. My love life is amazing.

I know that there are some people who are creating poly symposiums, and starting to work with youth who might thing they are in the wrong because they feel like they are in love with more than one person. I think that is awesome. Folks living outside the norm need support. I don't think I would be doing so well without other poly folks to talk to and share with. My friends have all been so awesome about everything. Some going so far as to say, "Dude, that totally makes sense for you. I'm glad you're happy." I am a lucky gal. I'm glad to be where I am today.

Nay gave me one of the best compliments ever when she said, "This woman can date anyone I love. She's got it right." Her husband Sean is my boyfriend. I love both of them to pieces.

Happy picture of the day: My xmas tree. Because it's the only thing about xmas I really give a shit about.

Good Friends

I have been thinking a lot this past week about how many awesome people are in my life. I actually think about it tons and try to remember to be grateful for, and acknowledge it, as much as possible.

This weekend I am volunteering at the art auction for our local public broadcasting station. One of my girlfriends runs the art program there. I'll be working in the green room making sure all of the talent arrives on time, that they have everything they need, and that they get out on the stage when they're supposed to be on set. I am doing it for four hours which may drag but I consider it an honor. My friend who runs this is the same lady who started second Saturdays here in town. Every second Saturday the galleries open, bands play, and people wander and buy art and check stuff out in midtown. In the recent years it's gotten a little overwhelming to me so I stick to the galleries on the outskirts of town, but it's still a really great thing that she has done.

I have a birthday bbq coming up. Things are tight since I'm saving for New Orleans so everyone is totally pitching in. All I have to buy are a few hot dogs and cheap burger patties, and condiments. I even have a friend bringing a money tree that I am going to label, "Melanie's shrunken head fund." In lieu of gifts I'm asking everyone to stick a fiver or so on the tree, for my trip.

I was out of work a few days and I got a couple of texts from people checking in on me. It made me feel really good. You never think about how important stuff like that is until it happens and makes you feel like people are thinking of you.

My friend Marcella emailed me on Wednesday that she wanted to go out and have a drink. I was hesitant 'cause I'm trying to be mellow but I know she needs girl time right now and is going through some stuff. So we went out and had the BEST time. A guy sitting near us told us we were so funny he should be paying us. We told him we take tips. We totally weren't kidding.

Randomly I got a text last week from my friend. He is a professional piercer going through some stuff right now. Just split up from my other good friend, lost his job, and moved back here from SF. In the middle of all that he thought of me. I have my ears stretched out to 1" and plugs are expensive. I buy cheap ones that are funny but they mess with my ears. He texted he had some 1" jewelry for me. I told him I didn't have any extra cash and he said, "Dude, I don't want your money!" So I told him I'd make him dinner some time.

I am seriously lucky to have a bunch of amazing people in my life. When I'm blue I need to remember that some people aren't nearly as blessed in that area as I am.

Happy picture of the day: this is Gary. He actually rode his bike to my work to drop off the jewelry. I love him to bits. He's 6' 8", every bit of which is crazy and sweet.