So I decided to put a profile up on one of the oh so many free dating sites on this lovely old place called the Interwebzes. I did so with the idea that I would put up a profile, then just leave it be, and see what happened. I am currently talking to three guys who seem pretty nice. One of whom I initiated contact with because I saw a huge red beard and then saw a profile that seemed thoughtful and interesting.
One of them seems like the only thing we may have in common is a love for whole foods.
One has already totally cracked me up on several occasions but all that may be there is humor.
One is sober and seems pretty grounded and awesome, and of the three is the one I find myself most drawn to.
I am in no rush to couple again, but I am also not totally opposed to the idea. What's nice is that this time around I am not finding the site so daunting that I want to get away from it. I've gotten a few messages that have made me laugh, a few that have made me really feel bad that grown men are so lost, and a few that I honestly went, "Why would that guy even send me a message?" It is nothing if not fodder for amusement.
The last time I attempted this it was maddening and frustrating, and I wasn't going at it with the ease and laid back attitude I have for it this time. Whatever is supposed to happen will. This may seem like a ridiculous sentence to write when you just put a profile on a dating site, but a little help never hurt anyone. With my busy and full life it really is quite impossible to meet men. So I did what I wanted to do. Hopefully I can keep a positive attitude about the whole thing.
The one thing I have changed this time around is that I'm not responding to EVERY message. I used to at least write a, "Hey, thanks for the note, but because of __________ it seems we may not be a very good match. Good luck in your search!" I find that some people don't even deserve that much, and it just opens you up to really ugly back and forths.
Also, I'm going to stay true to the fact that dating multiple people at a time is not my gig. I usually find someone of interest and give them my attention. If that doesn't pan out I move on. I wasn't built to hang out with a ton of men at a time. It makes me feel weird and ooky. Like I'm supposed to make this guy try out until the next, sparklier guy comes along. That's not okay in my book. More power to you folks who can see a bunch of people at a time. I can't. I have a hard time just talking to several people at a time. It's like some weird competition. I only do competition when I'm playing Wii. I will kick your ass at Wii bowling, even though I suck at real bowling. I just reminded myself I need to go bowling very soon.
The most amusing thing is there's a guy still on there that I went on a few dates with the last time around. I called him out on some stuff right before I decided hanging out with him was dumb. His pictures were 10 years and 30 pounds ago. One time he said something about having never lied to me and I responded with, "Your whole profile is a lie, down to the pictures that are of you in the wonder years. I was hot and thin in my 20s too." He has that same main profile pic up. I only know 'cause I can see who viewed my profile and he did. And it made me think how when I walked in to the spot where we first met I kept looking around for the guy, and a gray haired 30 pound heavier dude turned around and said hello. Hi, red flag Melanie. Jesus!
Anyways, I just really want to stay in a space where the single life is a happy option, but I'm not ruling out the possibility of having someone to share things with. I tend to operate really well with someone to care about. I also tend to operate really well when all I have to do is focus on myself. What's funny is the day after I wrote the bad first date post, the act of just letting that all out, made me back to comfy single me. Sometimes being blue and angry can be resolved by just the act of writing things and putting them out in to the blogosphere. So I'm glad to have this online diary that helps me hash out my shit. And it really is shit most of the time. I love that my moody is out there for everyone to see, and I'm finally not ashamed of it. I am Melanie, hear me roar! Or hear me burp. What? I'm gassy today because of my horrible "running around to find whatever you can near the hospital" diet I was on Tuesday. Seriously, that shit was hectic.
Dad update: turns out he had motherfucking eCOLI!!!!! It caused inflammation of his pancreas and gall bladder. He just has to be on heavy antibiotics for a few days at the hospital, then he gets to go home. Last night I drove all the way to the hospital to give him a huge hug and tell him to stop eating shit. 'Cause I'm a good daughter.
Happy picture of the day: Leon The Professional is one of my favorite all time movies, and I really like the art this guy is doing.