A friend of mine did this semi-obvious set up situation weekend before last with myself and her friend Joe. I laughed about it and took it in stride, and we actually got along pretty well. He knew all of the directors I mentioned, laughed at my jokes, and had a ton of knowledge about art. He came over Monday and we went for tacos and talked. But there's just no spark there, and I am trying to give it a few more chances before I give up.
He's quite a bit older, which I'm fine with, kind of. There is that small part of my brain that wonders why a 50+ year old man isn't looking to date women his own age. But age is pretty relative. The main problem I'm having is he was laid off a few weeks ago. I went through the poor guy issues with Rich, and I am in no way excited about doing that again. I came to be very resentful for having to carry both of us and pay for things. Now, Joe has a law degree and is studying to take the bar, but that really doesn't mean all that much to me. I know I need someone who can financially carry their own weight. I know in this economy it is not his fault that he is currently without work. It happens. I am just not ready for it to happen to someone who is a potential mate.
The biggest issue however, is that he has yet to make me laugh. I absolutely need, in order to be attracted to someone, for them to make me laugh really hard. The kind of laughter that hurts. The kind of laughter that makes you so full of joy you immediately forget all of the crap in your life and just fully give in to happiness.
I am taking things really slow and just going with the flow, and trying not to worry about all the future stuff, and really live in the now. He's coming for dinner tonight and I am sincerely hoping that he brings the funny. Because to be perfectly honest, I will throw him in the friend zone if that doesn't happen pretty soon. Of all the strange requirements that I have, the sense of humor is the one that really seals the deal. It creates that spark that makes it possible to power through the tough times. Without it, there is little hope for anything to bloom.
I am stepping back and realizing how nice it is that I like myself enough to have standards. For so many years I spent time with men who in no way deserved my company. Thinking that no one else would take me, I settled more often than not. I had a few great ones, and a lot of duds. I am not willing to go with any of the duds anymore. Even more than that, I am not willing to go with anyone who I can't look at and think, "I need to be romantically involved with him." I am not feeling like that right now. But people tend to grow on me like fungus. Let's hope this dude's a 'shroom. And if he's not, here's to new male friendship.
Happy picture of the day: I had to take my mom to a casino for mother's day which I was NOT looking forward to. But I found this machine and made the best of it.