When I send you a text of me making a face with the caption, "Here is me being annoyed at work." You respond with, "You are too pretty to look annoyed." Thanks for that. Even though I don't need the compliments, they sure are dandy. Thanks for making me feel pretty, and smart, and appreciated on our 25 hour first date.
That's right kids, on Thursday morning a fella showed up to take me out to lunch at 10:30 in the morning. He was absolutely adorable with his big ol' handlebar moustache, sporting a western shirt and dark dark jeans. He had a huge smile on his face like he was so happy to meet me, after a few days of writing back and forth and being shocked about how much we had in common. I looked beyond him to notice he had driven up in a brand new, without even license plates, Jaguar. I'm not saying I'm a car whore, but after dating a bunch of carless and jobless fellas, some who didn't have cell phones, a financially secure individual is a happy change of pace.
He has been divorced for about seven years, and has three kids. His relationship with his ex-wife is amicable, and he has the kids every other weekend. When he left he invited me to go to Oakland to hang out with him. Our next date is already set. How refreshing!
His last relationship lasted five years. Finally, someone who is a relationship person. Someone who is not out just getting laid and keeping it casual. God bless those who do that, I just don't want to date them. I want to date someone where there is a possibility of a monogamous future. Someone who has been deeply in love and knows that that's where they want to eventually end up again.
In past years I would've spent hours and hours wondering what was wrong with him. Wondering how many other women he's seeing that he's not telling me about. Wondering how long it would be before the ball dropped and I saw his true colors...true colors I do not like. But thank goodness for healthy self-esteem. This time I'm just going to live in the moment and enjoy this. Enjoy the first time where everything I said, someone smiled about. Everything I did someone told me, "You're wonderful for that." Every silly squeal I made or song I sang was met with a giggle and a smile. Every minute of a first date that lasted far too long, yet was way too short, spent being happy.
I am hopeful yet realistic. Hopeful that I finally am going to have a bit of coupled happiness that is long overdue and that I surely deserve. Realistic that this may fizzle out as we get to know each other's quirks and realize that perhaps they aren't things we can get past and appreciate the other person anyways. Hopeful that all the snuggles and smiles and running around town wanting to show him, "These are the things I love about my town," were things that he loved too. Realistic that since we live an hour and a half away from each other, even if we do end up together it's only going to be every other weekend for a while.
Right this minute I am happy that I am letting new men in. I'm happy that even though I've struggled, and been through hurt, and had my heart broken, I'm still willing to take another chance. This go round I've met some really nice people. I have one that is surely a friend for life and my new cheerleader to happiness. And maybe, maybe just one that I can hang out with on a regular basis for some time to come, who makes me smile. That makes everything worthwhile.
So thanks mister unicorn. Thanks for telling me really personal things about your children that you haven't told some people you have dated for months. Thanks for trusting me, and kissing me, and telling me I'm amazing and beautiful. You are amazing and beautiful too. Oh, and thanks for letting everyone who reads my blog forever know you as the unicorn. I'm not 100% sure you exist for real yet. But I'm totally hoping you do.
Happy picture of the day: here is an old photo of me about to ride my favorite wooden roller coaster in Santa Cruz. I'm going to go again next month, and I can't wait to be whipped around and bounced about.
One of the oldest still running wooden roller coasters in the world, The Giant Dipper.