On The Lighter Side

In the interest of lightening things up a bit I thought it was a good idea to share with you an email and text back and forth I had with several friends yesterday. It cracked me up. Knowing my sense of humor, it'll probably just make you turn your head sideways and say, "What the hell is she talking about???" but that's ok.

My friend Ally sent me this picture and said, "These are called monkey orchids. They really look like monkeys!"

I replied, "Actually, they look like a kitten fetus with a hard on, but we all know I'm crazy."

I then texted the picture to my best friend Christina and said, "Umm, these look like cat fetuses with a boner."

She replied, "Totally. Cat fetuses with a boner...wearing bonnets."

I answered, "I knew you would get it. I just knew it. Thank you."

I went to the restroom and came back and wrote to her, "Now all I can think are a bunch of guys in a botanist flower naming convention, and there's this one outcast named Bob. They have these flowers in the middle of the table and he's like, 'Those look like cat fetuses with a hard on, but I'm pretty sure no one wants to buy cat fetus hard on orchids.' So everyone votes it down and agrees they look enough like monkeys to go ahead and go with that."

She wrote back, "I wonder if Bob named the Stinkbird flower."

I said, "No, if Bob named it it would've been the Shocker or the Stinkfinger. Kenny named the Stinkbird."

Then I texted the picture to my friend Jasson and said, "Monkey, or kitten fetuses with a hard on wearing a bonnet?"

He laughed and wrote back, "Haha! Boner bonnet!"

I wrote back, "Ooooh, I'm gonna make you one. Then I'm going to draw a face on the head of your dick and we are going to record penis puppet theater. It'll go viral! But I hope your penis doesn't go viral. 'Cause that would be bad."

I am fully convinced I should do some sort of YouTube sketch comedy show. But I never will, 'cause I don't have the motivation to follow through with anything, ever.