Oh Glorious Side Effects

So it's been exactly two weeks since I started my lovely journey on Fluoxetine aka generic Prozac. I know that it takes about 4-6 weeks before you notice if it is helping or not, so I am trying to be patient. Luckily, that patience is being hindered by some pretty shitty side effects. Last Wednesday and Thursday I had dry mouth so bad I had to constantly swish water around in my mouth or it felt disgusting. Also, because of the lack of saliva my tongue was chewed up as were the sides of my mouth. Way to make someone feel like a tweaker, meds! I powered through it even though all I really wanted to do was stop taking the stuff. It also leaves me with really dry eyes so they are light sensitive, and cold extremities. I have been sitting at my desk in my Snuggie a lot. The side effects are much lessened today, but are still going on. They aren't nearly as bad as they were last week so I am thankful for that.

On the bright side, I don't have some of the side effects I've read about or had friends tell me about. One friend couldn't have an O for a month. Of course as soon as I heard this I had to test it out right away and thank the stars, I am not having THAT problem. Seriously, I'd rather have borderline OCD anxiety disorder than not have orgasms. For reals.

Head pain: I am really glad that's not one of my side effects. It's bad enough that I'm drowsy and cranky for now, add head pain to that and I just might be the most miserable person ever at work. It may have turned to violence. So thank goodness I haven't had headaches or any of that such nonsense.

Diarrhea: Dude, it causes dry mouth, dry eyes, constipation OR the runs? What kind of drug is this. I always love when you hear on commercials, "May cause drowsiness or insomnia." What the fuck? They told me to take it in the morning 'cause it may cause insomnia. Shit puts me to sleep so I don't have that problem. Or the runs. I don't think on top of having to admit I need meds, I need to admit I depend on Depends. I'm just not ready for that step in life yet.

Ringing in the ears: This would suck balls. It's bad enough I have the chills almost constantly or I feel like my skin is crawling. Add to that ringing in the ears and I'd act even more mental than I already do. Hell, I'd finally get fired more than likely. "Umm, do you guys hear that? Is it time for recess? What's going on?" No thanks.

Hair loss: Now here's one I could actually use. I have more hair than anyone I've ever met. Why can't I ever get a HELPFUL side effect like hair loss? Okay, I got the one that helps me sleep more, so there's that. Still, a little hair falling out after a shower would be welcomed. Got that drug company?

Confusion: I have suffered from this side effect my whole life. People confuse me on a daily basis. But now that I'm on meds it's awesome that I can totally blame it on the Prozac. "Huh? I don't get it. Must be the meds." *high-fiving self* I am usually anti high-five as it's hello broey. But that doesn't count when it's a self high-five. Shut up! It doesn't!

Anyways, I look forward to the day when the shitty side effects are a thing of the past and I get to see whether or not I am actually getting any of the rewards of finally being on meds. Now when people say stuff like, "Is that bitch on Prozac?" I can resoundingly yell, "Why yes! Yes, I am!"

Happy picture of the day: Michonne. She is one of my favorite television characters in recent history.

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