One time I kept seeing a guy on the freeway with a "Powered by Nickelback" sticker on his car. I could never get a good look at his face. For some reason I needed to. So one time I followed him all the way to his destination (which not so ironically was Walmart). I asked him, "Is that sticker ironic, or do you really love Nickelback?" He really loved Nickelback. I didn't even laugh or crack a smile. I just kind of nodded and forget what I said back. I just always wondered how that band had fans. I am usually a very, "Whatever you like is cool" person. That doesn't go for Nickelback.
About two weeks ago on the way to lunch, I heard, "I don't need your civil waaarrhheerhoorr" blasting out of a car near us. I looked around and I saw a real life stereotype. Dude had long curly hair, a bunch of weird rings on, and was driving a 90s Camaro. I pulled out my phone and looked at my friend and said, "A picture is not enough. This requires video and sound!" The light turned green and he took off before I could document the moment, and it actually made me sad. That video would've made the day of all my friends. I literally thought, "No one will believe this if I don't get proof! It's too good!"
The other day in the store there was a "red orange" juice made by Tropicana. Since it is a blend of blood and regular oranges, I guess they couldn't call it blood orange juice. But I pretended they did it because they wanted to put a sanitized label on the juice. I called the company and acted like I was in a fit of rage that they would not put "blood orange" on their label. I went on to state how my brother and sister vampires would not be buying their product now or ever, and hung up. I figured it would give the lady who answered the phone a story to tell.
Update: I started feeling way too guilty about the mention of the lady in the park, and the picture I posted, so I needed to take it down. I don't usually do that but it just wore way too much on my sense of being a human, so I had to censor myself.
There must be something about Nickelback... Nobody else inspires the amount of loathing they do - and that makes them the best at something. Which is disturbing.
ReplyDeleteI often times wonder if they just aren't playing the world's largest trick on everyone, by being the most hated band, and therefore garnering a ton of attention. If so, it's pure genius!
ReplyDeleteI generally don't loathe them, I just don't think of them. Hard to do when someone has the nerve to be driving a car with a "Powered by Nickelback" sticker on it. Damn that guy!
Hi! I came over from Not So Simply Single and wow... I mean, I'm almost speechless. However, speechless doesn't really happen to me all that often so now isn't one of those times, but it ALMOST was! Good for you.
ReplyDeleteI have two thoughts on this post that I would like to share.
I couldn't help but wonder if that dude in the Camero might of driven through a time warp hole and somewhere (in his world) it really still is 1992? I bet you never stopped to consider that, huh?
Also, those cankles made me throw up in my mouth a little.
Hi there Lil Dreamer,
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming to check out the blog. I aims to please, and by please I mean make people speechless who are never made speechless. :)
I actually said about the Camaro guy aloud to my girlfriend, "Dude, that guy FOUND the flux capacitor." So not only did I consider it, I made a Back to the Future reference while considering it. Haha.
I can't imagine anyone looking at those cankles, and not immediately wanting to pour bleach in their eyes. So again, you're welcome. :)
You really called up Tropicana?? Girl, you are HILARIOUS!!! hahahahaha I wish would have heard that phone conversation. I may have peed myself if I did. LOL!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah, the retelling of it doesn't sound as funny as it actually was. It was hard for me to keep a straight face. It was like a 5 minute call.
ReplyDeleteMy FAVORITE company phone call of all time though, was when they had just come out with the 64 oz. super big gulp. I thought it was outrageous that anyone drink that much soda in one sitting. So I got the comment number off of one of the cups and told them they should make a soda cup as big as a garbage can, and huge straws. That way it would be like a party keg. To the lady on the phone's credit, I could hear her taking notes and she totally thought I was serious and took it as a real suggestion. That kept my friends and I laughing for months.