In the past year, I have made a habit of complimenting people way more often. I don't search out, or make up things to compliment people on. But if I like someone's shoes or scarf, or think they look exceptionally dashing, I think it's my obligation to let that be known. Even if someone doesn't take a compliment well, everyone appreciates a compliment.
Something we could all learn to do is take a compliment more graciously. If someone compliments you, the proper response is, "Aww thanks" or something similar. NOTHING is uglier than someone responding to a compliment, by putting themselves down or negating said compliment. You know how I know this? I used to be the biggest culprit of responding to a compliment with a negative comment. No more. If someone says, "You look really pretty today," even if you want to say, "Oh god, my hair is a mess" instead say, "Thanks. You just made my day." This is one of the few situations where I encourage a "fake it 'til you make it" mentality. You respond positively to enough compliments, and eventually the negative thoughts on the compliment lessen. Perhaps someday they even disappear. Fancy that!
There is a woman at work who always walks with her eyes focused on the floor. One day she finally looked up and I saw her face, and she is absolutely adorable. So I said to her, "You should walk with your head up more often. You're far too pretty to hide your face. I wish I looked as pretty and fresh-faced as you without make-up." She got a huge grin on her face but said nothing. Then walking home from work I happened to pass her on the street and she had her head up. She said, "I didn't say thank you the other day when you complimented me. I'm an ass. Thanks." Then we went about our business.
Any time I see a sweater or a scarf I like I say something like, "Ooohhh, I love that!" Sometimes my reaction is so visceral it scares people, and it takes every bone in my body not to reach out and touch their scarf/sweater. I don't touch strangers, but some items of clothing are yelling out, "Hey, I'm soft. Check me out!"
Don't get me started on shoes. I have a shoe problem. Big time. I recently gave away about 40 pairs, and I still have a shoe bureau, three underbed boxes, and my high heels in the closet kept in their original boxes. If I see a great pair of shoes I ask, "Who makes those, and where did you get them?" Love shoes.
But what I really try and compliment on is a personality trait. I try and let people know, "You are a saint. I couldn't do what you are doing." or "Dude, you are the funniest person ever." Because those are the things that REALLY matter. I try to thank people if they are doing something extraordinary, or out of their way. I try to make sure they know at least one person appreciates it. On the way home the other day there was a lady planting in a little planter box on her street. I said, "I really appreciate that you do that. It makes the block so much prettier. I just think you need to know that some of us notice." She got a huge smile on her face.
Today one of our old directors is in jeans and a plaid flannel. I walked by and said, "Aww, you look like my dad today." It made me want to call my dad just to say, "I love you dad." The director said, "I will take that as a compliment." I said, "You should. My dad is pretty much as amazing as they come."
I think we should start a revolution of compliments. Make it a point to actually verbalize, "Wow, that girl looks great in that dress" instead of just thinking of it. You'll be shocked what a difference it can make. It's kind of a pass it on smile. Positivity and awesome are infectious. Let's make everyone catch it.
Happy picture of the day: I need all these rings! Every one of them. Someone should start a ring fund for me. And they're only 12-20 bucks! Damn Japanese people make everything cute. And umm yeah, that's a tiny spork on there. THAT'S A SPORK I SAY!
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I'm starting to think of you as the wise old elder of the blogging world - only not so old. Your blog is great.
ReplyDeleteMy first reaction was to be a hypocrite and say, "You shut uppa yo mouf!"
ReplyDeleteBut instead I will say that in truth, I am blushing right now. I am honored that you think that. Seriously.
I often say I'm 37 going on 90, so I am kind of old. :)
I am terrible at taking compliments. It's something I have to work on.
ReplyDeleteAlso, yeah, I share your urge to sometimes pet someone's furry coat or poke a puffy jacket.
By the way, you and your blog are marvelous.
It is a REALLY tough habit to break. I am so self deprecating it's obscene. I'm trying not to be so in reaction to compliments anymore.
ReplyDeleteI've also stopped complimenting people who react poorly to compliments.
Thanks whole bunches. I am really happy you like the blog. Your blog makes me laugh out loud at work so much that I had to send the link to my cubie neighbors so they'd stop yelling, "What now??"
Or sometimes, instead of sending them the link, I just shoot little paper wads at them with my new paper clip catapult my friend made me. 'Cause really, isn't it better when people have no clue what it is you're laughing about? I think so.
You're a much better person than me. The only person who gets these kinds of compliments from me is my girlfriend. :P
ReplyDeleteCompliments to get you laid, totally don't count. My boyfriend has learned this.
ReplyDeleteBut he still gets laid, because otherwise why even have him around? I kid. Kind of.
Thank you, Mel, for this little nugget of wisdom. I'm horrible at taking compliments as well. Working on it!
ReplyDeleteKeep on kicking ass, Melanie.
B
Bradley,
ReplyDeleteDid you just delurk again? I'm so proud of you! *sarcasm denoted*
I am super excited about our "bitch ain't havin' no babies dinner" in three weeks. I haven't had a steakhouse steak in FOREVER. I think I'm getting prime rib.
I agree with you!! I try to compliment people every day. I make a point of it and I think it's so awesome that you do the same :) I also totally agree with you in people's reactions to it. If someone says you looks awesome, chances are, you do! When people negate a comment, I sometimes feel as if they are trying get a few more compliments out of you. Sigh...
ReplyDeleteHope you're having an amazing weekend!!!
Yeah! Fishing for compliments is not cute.
ReplyDeleteI had an awesome weekend. Tomorrow's post will be about it.
That... tiny... tea set... so tiny.
ReplyDeleteI know, right? I am going to order a few of them, put them on, and then walk around stomping like Godzilla for at least five minutes. Do I have to put them under foot to stomp around like Godzilla? Either way, Godzilla fun shall be had.
ReplyDeleteI'm late to the game with this one, but HELL YES! I do this all the time. Even if I don't know the person but like their hair or something they've done, I make it a point to let them know (for what it's worth.) Too many times those little compliments gone unsaid when they could have in fact just made someone's day.
ReplyDeleteI know this because those little compliments I receive on occasion totally make my day, at least until something else annoys me, but whatever... Excellent post.
Thanks lady!
ReplyDeleteThese are the little things we can do on a daily basis, to make the world a better place.
Love the ring! Love compliments too - even though I am sometimes less than gracious about them.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I'm guilty of not being gracious too, but I'm working on it.
ReplyDeleteCrazy! I pinned one of those teeny tiny tea rings on Pinterest 8 days ago! I love that you zeroed in on the one with the spork!!
ReplyDeleteI found them because you added a ring or the shop to your favorites on Etsy and it came up in my notifications on there. :)
ReplyDelete