I have no imagination right now so that is my current letter to sleep. I'm going through some really hard stuff that I don't want to get in to, and it's made it so that I haven't got a decent night of sleep since Saturday. It is hard enough to shut my brain down when life is peachy, but when there are important decisions and life choices to make, you can place a bet that sleep is nowhere in sight for me.
Last night I did the shift thing. I was so tired I fell asleep at 7:30, then at 9:30 I was wide awake. Fell back asleep at 2:30 and when my alarm went off I've never wanted to break my phone so badly in my life. This situation I'm in makes me feel naive, and that perhaps I am too quick to trust some people. You live and learn, and this has most definitely been a learning experience. People got hurt because of something I didn't check in about, and I feel really bad.
I am not going to beat myself up about it anymore than I already have. I'm going to hash it out and come to whatever solution I need to to bring my life back to a peaceful and happy place. I can't afford to care if others that my decision effects, think I'm being rash or unfair. I have to put me first. That's exactly what I intend to do.
I hope all of you who sleep regularly appreciate it, because those of us who don't know how important sleep is. And as Reanna has said before, the best curse you can wish on someone, is to pray they get insomnia.
Happy picture of the day: good lord I love Bruce Campbell. And this made me laugh.
Yes, You have to do what is right for you. Good luck with the decision, and man I hope you get some sleep! Hugs
ReplyDeleteThanks hon! The fact that I am at work today fully clothed proves I have an autopilot function built in.
DeleteSorry to hear about the ugly stuff. I have bouts of insomnia, for days and days. And then all of a sudden, I'll be sitting in the middle of dinner, and I'll just take a face plant into my spaghetti, I'm so tired.
ReplyDeleteSending positive vibes your way that you may work through your difficulties very soon. xo
Thanks jaybird!
DeleteI have never face planted in to my dinner. I feel better now. :)
Oh I can relate to insomnia...get bouts of it from time to time and it is torture. I hope your situation clears up and gets settled in your favor, or however would be best. I hate that you're going through crud.
ReplyDeleteHugs from across the miles...
Thanks so much!! The issue is almost fully resolved. I predict baby-like sleep tonight, only with much more drool!
Deletehang in there, girl, and i hope you get some peace and some rest SOON!!!!!
ReplyDeletethis year has been so wacky for me sleep-wise. many, many nights i get up 8-10 times. it sucks. i can't stand it. but it sure helps me appreciate it when i am able to sleep well.
It does suck. I get up and watch tv 'cause if I just lay in bed it's worse. The good news is, my DVR is now empty. :)
DeleteBruce Campbell is my favouriten actor!! I knew we'd get on.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, although you need to sleep, sometimes I think you also need to NOT sleep occasionally, while your brain comes to term with things. Biut I hope you get some quality Zs in soon.
Seriously. If I ever make it to the UK we're hanging out.
DeleteI got 5 solid hours last night. It was nice, but tonight I'm aiming for 7.
Lady, you know how much I feel you on this. I am so sorry. And I'm sure I have nothing to offer that you haven't tried, except maybe my newest sleeping with a tennis ball thing (I lay on my back and use the ball to target tension in my back and neck).
ReplyDeleteStruggling with a personal issue makes it even harder when you're already prone to insomnia... trying to find a benign activity that distracts you but doesn't engross you and keep you awake is damn near impossible.
I was actually thinking about you the other night when I couldn't sleep, remembering when you said that a new "hey, this will help you sleep" thing only works for a month before your body catches on and starts fucking with you again.
One thing that helped end my October of no sleep was watching old UFC fights in bed, volume down to barely audible (totally contrary to all "sleep hygiene" theories, but fuck them if something works). My big crash came on the heels of some good fights and lasted 16 hours - a record crash for me. Sleeping for that long was absolute heaven - I didn't care that I lost a day.
I've had a few weeks of "good" sleep (5-6 hours/night) since then. But sadly, my UFC fight plan has stopped working this week. Blerg. So I lay awake thinking about my blog, your blog, and our insomnia comments. Awesome.
From your comments, it sounds like maybe you're getting some sleep again and feeling okay about your situation. I hope that's true. Always feel free to shoot me an email for any reason. I'm sure I'll be up to answer. :)
Oh, and the soup pic? I'm totally stealing that.
DeleteSituation was resolved and I'm now getting like 5 hours solid.
DeleteI have had the catch up days but 10 hours is the longest I've ever slept on a catch up day, and it feels like my idea of heaven.