So I went out last night with Dave and had a great time. Upon my first trip to the restroom I spotted a piece of discarded gum in the wastebasket. After washing my hands I ran out to Dave and was muttering, mostly to myself but out loud, how I might have to break my "no cell phones in the bathroom" rule to take a picture of said gum. He looked at me like I was insane, which is kind of true, so I paid him no mind. So as I sat there arguing aloud to myself for about five minutes, I realized I had to do it. You are welcome.
Now all I can think of is, "How did that gum come out of someone's mouth in that exact shape? Did a tweaker take it out of their mouth then sculpt it that way?" Kianwi and I argued that perhaps Barbie got mad and hacked it off of Ken, but then Kianwi said that would make Ken's penis ginormous. I agreed and said it must be old school GI Joe peen. This is how my mind works. Be glad you don't have my brain.
Maybe there are chewing gum artists now? Leaving little phallic shaped chewing gum statues all over the place.
ReplyDeleteIf this isn't a thing, someone should make it a thing.
I am now of the belief that there is a woman walking around who, unbeknownst to her, has the mold on a tiny penis on her inner cheek.
DeleteIf not, we should start with the gum statues immediately. This was about as big as my thumbnail.
GI Joe for sure :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kellie...we should make it a thing!
Definitely GI Joe.
DeleteHilarious!! Mel-I absolutely share in your crazy sense of humor, because, just this morning I was going to post a picture of a penis-shaped water bottle my girls were so luckily gifted with for participating in the American Heart Association jump rope-a-thon.
ReplyDeleteThe girls saw me taking a picture of it and stopped me. They were all "Mom, WHAT is wrong with you? No one who reads your blog wants to see a water bottle shaped peche-a-dee! (That's just one of many half-Italian half-American words we use for a schwanze!)
Now, I absolutely must e-mail a picture of it to you. And Kianwi too. Cause she is obviously down with this too.
Please do! Then I could correspond with you via email. I hate that I can't comment on your blog and yours is the only email I don't have besides Kellie.
Deletefvfbfn@verizon.net e-mail me anytime
DeleteOkay.
ReplyDeleteI had to read the comments before I figured what this was all about.
DeleteI have a friend who used to see phallic objects wherever she went. She would giggle about our patriarchal society every time someone erected (teehee) a new building. She saw streetlights as phallic. Said you could tell they were designed by men. She even saw sequoias as big willies. She was nuts. Teehee.
I don't see phallic objects everywhere. This was a gum penis the size of my thumbnail. It was a teeny peenie miracle I tell you! :)
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ReplyDeleteArt is everywhere. I suppose it's too much to hope you know what flavour it was... definitely glad you took the pic.
ReplyDeleteGood lord! If I knew what flavor it was I'd have to kill myself. You were missed Reanna. Glad to see you back.
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