Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Kids

First of all, I am slightly dismayed that everyone focused on Rich and my break up yesterday, and no one commented on how rad Mable's glasses were. Now on to the topic at hand.

I am never having kids. I have known this since I was very young. However, I love kids. My degree is in Child Development, and I have always found human development to be fascinating. What makes one person compassionate while another becomes a sociopath? How much of our behavior are we born with, and how much is learned?

I always get a little uneasy around people who say they hate children. Hating any whole subset of the human race is strange to me. Making broad, sweeping generalizations reminds me of sentences like, "Black people frighten me." If you say you hate children, I hear you saying something akin to being a racist. It's the same. Now, I get not liking bad children, or loud children. Just as I don't like blatantly ignorant people. But I don't get hating kids period. I respect if you don't, but I can't say you won't make me tilt my head a little 'cause I don't get it. Everyone was once a child. Do you hate a whole portion of your own life? Or is it just other little ones you despise? Okay, I've proven that I don't get it. Let's move on.

I have only in my life ever come across two children who were horrible, despite having great parents. So maybe we should be focusing on bad people raising kids, rather than "bad kids." Does a 3 year old really know any better? You will never see me more angry than someone telling a toddler, "You know better than that!" Umm, no they don't. Maybe you shouldn't have had kids if you don't even have the slightest idea of brain functions at different ages. Why do we have to have a driver's license to drive a car, yet any idiot can have a child?

I mentioned on another blog how I think there are people who are born to be parents, and those who aren't. I think a huge portion of those who aren't give in to societal pressures because it's not "normal" in our society to be childless. Those are the horrible parents. They didn't want a kid in the first place and you can tell by their interaction with their little ones, that they know they made a terrible mistake. But instead of bucking up and being responsible, they treat the child like it's their fault the adult wasn't strong enough to stand up and say, "I don't want to be a parent. I wasn't built for it."

Last night my friend Kel came over with his son Nathan. Kel was obviously born to be a daddy, and it shows in Nathan. Nathan's mom was not born to be a mom. At 36 she still goes out drinking and dancing, bringing men home, and Nathan is not her priority. Kel fought for years and finally has custody. It took a lot of convincing and hardship on his part, but now he's a full time daddy. They are moving back to his home town in Washington on the 21st of this month, and I'm going to get in as much time with them as I can before they leave.





Hi, I'm Nathan and I was not asked to pose like this. I'm just that awesome.

The kid had me when the first time he came over, he ran straight for my USS Enterprise and Star Trek episode guide. He's definitely a nerd in training, and I love him to bits. He's going through a growth spurt so last night he ate a grilled cheese, two corn on the cobs, and half an apple at my house. I just wanted to put him in my pocket so Kel would leave without him. He's one of the coolest kids I've ever met, and Kel really deserves credit for raising the future generation of rad.

We made a video of him playing my Wii dance game last night, but I'm not even sure if I can imbed video in Blogger. I'll take a few stabs at it, as it is hilarious and will make your day.





We giggled the whole time. Kids dancing is one of my favorite things in life to witness. I wish we all could just let go and dance like this once in a while. So awesome.




9 comments:

  1. So cute! Kids dancing are adorable! I agree that some people are not meant to be parents and it is sad that they feel and cave to pressure that they know they shouldn't. Me? Being a mom is the one thing I am most proud of and take crazy amounts of joy in my girls (even when they drive me bonkers!!).

    Again, being able to really know who you are is what makes you strong! You rock!!

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  2. When I worked with kids I would put on music and watch the toddlers dance almost every day. It is so great to see these kids who don't have the feeling yet of, "Do I look silly? Is someone going to make fun of me for moving this way?" I love it.

    Thanks. I'm still learning. And there are times I hang out with kids that I think I should've been a mommy just because I would've been a great one. But it's just not for me. I am thankful for all you awesome mommies out there, doing stuff like passing on your family traditions of crabbing and the like. It makes me smile.

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  3. You are so right! Some people are not meant to be parents and it really is mostly the parents fault if the kid is a lunatic. But I find that happens to people who REALLY wanted to be parents and are so happy they are and think the sun shines from their kids that they never discipline them which is very unfortunate.

    And congratulations to your friend for getting custody of his son. It is amazing how hard it is for men to get custody still! Kids are awesome. They are hilarious and tell it like it is and I love how great they think they are.

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  4. I think your parents who think the sun shine out of their kids' ass, are horrific. People who are worried about hearing "I hate you mom" shouldn't have had kids. In my opinion, if your child never gets mad at you for setting limits, you're doing something wrong.

    It is absurd how social services still tries to keep a child with the mother at all costs. It doesn't make any sense.

    Wouldn't it be cool if we could all stay that way? Knowing we are awesome and fearing little? Instead of getting to the point where we second guess ourselves and don't understand how great we are? I think about that a lot.

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  5. That is so adorable!! That's so awesome that you have such a fun kid to play with :) Spending time with my god son is one of my favorite things to do. I've been trying to teach that 2 year old yoga. It's so freaking cute!!!!

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  6. I honestly wonder sometimes if I am ever meant to be a parent, let alone a *good* one. I really can't ponder this question too much because as the only child, I kinda have no choice but to give my mother (who absolutely LOVES children) the hypothetical future grandkids she deserves. :P

    -Barb the French Bean

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  7. @Jax,
    I need to see video of the two year old doing yoga. They're probably better at it than I am. I stink at yoga.

    @Barb,
    I am lucky in that I'm the youngest of five, so my mom has grandkids, and a GREAT grandkid. I was totally off the hook. I wouldn't have had a kid just for her, but it would've been a much tougher decision I'm sure.

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  8. no kids, no kids.. that what i keep repeating to myself. except i will probably end up having them anyway..

    anyway, i love your blog! definately following!
    f-a-i-r-y-l-i-g-h-t-s.blogspot.com

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  9. Welcome Catherine!

    I think if you are young you have plenty of time to figure it out. With me I just always knew I wasn't built for motherhood. It was never a question I couldn't answer with a definite, "No thanks."

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