Keeping It Together

There are a lot of principles I've learned in recovery, that I carry over to help me cope with every day life situations. They help to make my crazy life more managable, which if you have read this blog for any amount of time you will know is kind of a daunting task.

The serenity prayer is something I used to laugh about and make fun of. Now it is something I use on almost a daily basis to remind me that I need to stop stressing over things I have no control over. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I think if everyone lived by this the world would be a much more peaceful place. Your friend is dating an idiot? Well, there's nothing you can do about it so tell them your concerns once, then be a supportive friend and get over it. Stop nosing in to the business of others. It is THE BUSINESS OF OTHERS. The only thing this prayer doesn't help with is my anxiety and panic, but actually in a way it does. Every time I go in to a panic spiral I ask myself, "What are the facts of the situation? What can you do to make it less stressful? If nothing, calm down and just focus on the fact that this isn't going to cause you harm and you will be okay." That kind of is just a spin on the serenity prayer. If you aren't religious, take the word God out of it. I promise it'll still work the same if you start the saying with, "I should have the serenity to accept...."

Making amends promptly when I do something wrong. There are two steps in AA that deal with recognizing and taking ownership for the part you play in the bad things that happen in your life, and apologizing to people you have wronged. I try and do this on a regular basis. I spent so many years blaming other people for why my life was so bad, when really I played a huge part in it. So I stopped doing that. Now when horrible things happen there is almost never a time I can't look back and see how if I'd made a smarter decision, it would have never happened. It is a good way to live life with no regrets, and move forward having learned from your mistakes. Also, you have to apologize to people and really mean it. It's the only way to not constantly do things that you need to feel sorry for. I do very little I have to apologize for. But when I do if my pride gets in the way like, "They do not deserve an apology for that" I have to remember that a lot of the time the apology is for me, not them. It is so that I can become a better person.

Carrying the message to other people/alcoholics. I try and be really open about all of my problems, both mental and addictive, in the hope that other people will see me and have hope. You can be a bi-polar, OCD, ADHD, alcoholic and function in the world and have healthy relationships. You can own a home. You can laugh through life and listen to great music and read great books. You can sometimes fall on your ass and fail miserably when the anxiety gets the upper hand, but eventually get up and brush yourself off and move on. There is never a fall so far, that you can't climb back up from it. Unless you're dead. Then you can go ahead and stop bothering.

Today I leave you with a fun song, and a more fun picture of me at my friend's wedding a few weeks back. What I forgot to capture was this HUGE wall mural of elk. I kept looking at it and thinking, "I bet that lights up." So I got up and good lord if I didn't find the switch. I turned it on and exclaimed, "Oh, so regal!" and about 30 people laughed out loud. Then, when the lights dimmed later on for dancing time, it looked even more ridiculous/amazing. I'm glad I found that switch. It kinda made the reception more awesome.

Billy Lee Riley - Red Hot. I'm pretty much a fan of all old rockabilly or blues songs that sing about how they were in love with a gal who was so tall she slept in her kitchen with her feets in the hall/out the door. (There are a ton of them. Have fun with Google today finding them. You're welcome for that time killer.)

I had taken this thinking it was a party favor, but actually it was for a photo booth type thing they'd set up. My friend had to come steal it back, 'cause that sucker was totally coming home with me.