I used to have a Facebook account. I posted far too much on this Facebook account. I still, to this day, have friends tell me, "Facebook isn't the same without you" or "I miss your ridiculous Facebook posts." I smile and say stuff like, "Aww, shucks." I don't miss Facebook one bit, and I can honestly say I will never have a Facebook, nor a Twitter account, ever again.
Why, you ask? Well, I obsess to the max on these things. I would post way too much. I'd have to comment on everyone's posts. If I were not on Facebook for several hours, I felt like "Oh my god I've probably missed something terribly important." But you know what? I didn't. And after over a year of not having Facebook, I am still not missing anything. I have a phone number, and an email (an AOL email mind you), and this rad place called a house you can come to if you'd like to communicate with me.
I got really tired of people thinking that "liking" a status update therefore signified they were a good friend. Wishing me a happy birthday on a site, that reminds you that it's my birthday, is lazy. Saying you cancelled something by sending me a Facebook message, is not appropriate. Don't get me started on going out nights with people who were so busy trying to update Facebook with what we were doing, that they really weren't even a part of what we were doing. "Hey, look how much fun I'm having!" really equated to this:
The article that picture came from is pretty good too. I am in no way interested in hanging out with a bunch of people who are texting or whatever, and not present where we are at the moment.
I spent a few months complaining how social networking and technology were making it socially acceptable to be rude, and entitled. Then I followed my own rule about complaining: you can only complain about something three times, until you need to actively do something to fix what you are complaining about. So I did. I cancelled all of my social networking accounts. At first I thought my world would end, but after about two weeks I sighed with relief. I am glad to no longer have anything to do with such things.
I understand why people have these accounts. I think if you use them responsibly they are fabulous tools. But they are a convenience, not a necessity. A lot of people forget this. I once brought up, on Facebook, how there would be a day each week I'd be leaving my cell phone at home. I said I would respond to texts and such the next day, so don't be alarmed if you couldn't get in touch with me. This started a whole slew of people accosting me about, "But I need my cell phone 'cause I'm a mom." To which I replied, "Oh yes, because the centuries in time before the cell phone, or even land lines existed, no one could effectively mother a child." Now, none of my choices to disengage and disconnect had anything to do with anyone. They were just things I needed to do. But as with everything else, people personalized my choices. They took it as a personal attack that I wanted to sever the leashes. Well, that's awesome and all. I only came back smartassedly once people started going down the laundry list of reasons why they couldn't possibly go a day without their cell phones. I liken this to people who say they'd die if they had to go a weekend without the Internet. I have several times given the response of, "One could only hope." I know, I'm a terrible human being. We've covered this already.
Coincidentally, I had to create a Facebook account on Thursday to do some research on kids cheating on tests by posting pictures of the tests on social media sites. It totally sealed the deal that I want nothing to do with this stuff ever again.
The day after I cancelled I received several, "Did you delete me on Facebook?" texts as that is apparently the new, "Did I do something to make you angry?" question. I laughed as I wrote back, "No, I deleted my account." I even had two friends who stopped speaking to me because they assumed I'd deleted them on Facebook, and got mad. Well, good riddance to bad rubbish I say.
Of all of the things I do, I can honestly say that I don't compare myself to other people. When other people go on a diet, change their eating habits, start exercising more, quit smoking, or do anything else they want to do to "better" themselves, I never take it as a personal stab. I mean, who would? A ton of people, that's who.
Which leads me to other situations where I have tried to live a healthier lifestyle. I lightened my friend load significantly when I quit drinking. Never would I have imagined I'd get so many negative reactions, to a positive life choice. Why would you think I would quit drinking and become judgmental, when I was never judgmental before? Does quitting something that is killing me automatically mean I am going to start talking about how much you imbibe? Apparently a lot of folks seem to think that's the case.
When I started eating healthier and cutting out the processed foods, some people responded negatively. My food choices aren't about you. What is wrong with people? Yes, I only buy local chickens where I've researched the farm they came from. That doesn't mean I give a shit what kind of chicken you eat. These choices I make are about ME. What do some people not get about that? Also, I eat the same raised in a cage with their beaks sawed off chickens most people do, when I go eat at my soul food places, so there's that. Get over yourself. I got over myself a long time ago.
Okay, ranting post over. But seriously, next time someone you know makes a choice to better themselves, if you take it personally, that's your issue. It has nothing to do with the other person, and everything to do with your own insecurities. Figure that out, and keep calm and carry on.
Happy picture of the day: this totally cracked me up.


You're not a terrible person. Just a sane one. I congratulate you for wanting to have a more drama-free internet life. :)
ReplyDelete(I use Facebook to keep in nearly immediate contact with friends and family across the globe. But even I don't need to see a picture of someone chugging a martini.)
-Barb the French Bean
Thanks Barb.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand why people have Facebook. It's a lovely tool to keep in touch with people who you don't get to see all of the time. I just couldn't use it like an adult, so I got rid of it.
I noticed I don't talk to my nieces as much now that I don't have it, so I'm trying to fix that.
Who chugs a martini? That kind of takes away from the classiness of drinking a martini in the first place. :)
LOL That picture was hysterical!!!
ReplyDeleteI have a Facebook account, but very rarely use. Ever since my grandfather joined, I figured it was better to be ignored.
P.S. I would bet on a pubic hair sweater already being on Etsy too. lol
I originally signed on to keep in touch with my friend in Japan. Then a whole bunch of people I went to school with friended me... but they weren't really people that I kept in touch with anyway, so I unfriended them.
ReplyDeleteAnd now, for the most part, I still have FB because I want to check in with what my daughter does on FB...but the irony here is she really doesn't use it at all either.
I'm with you on this. As much as I love technology, I am getting to point where I think the Amish got it right when they drew the line at zippers!!
@ Jax,
ReplyDeleteMy choice to not have one was so very personal, that I couldn't wrap my head around why people cared so much about it.
And BLECH on the pube sweater. *shiver*
@Heather,
Zippers, and velcro! Don't forget the velcro!
I do wonder what my life would be like if I deleted my Facebook account, and I must say that there is a chance it would be better.
ReplyDeleteBut how would I know everyone's birthdays?
Your life would be a life, just without a Facebook account! :)
ReplyDeleteI say if you use it wisely and it helps you keep in touch with people, keep things like this.
Also, I now keep all my birthdays in my iPhone. I don't do it, but I'm pretty sure you can set up your alert to vibrate if you want to. ;)
Is it just me? Or is that the world's wonkiest keyboard work. My keyboard has a lazy eye.
Keyboard *wink*
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh!
ReplyDeleteCan I just say that when people write "She is just so stinkin' cute" on a facebook photo it makes me want to rip my own eyes out with rage? I don't know why but it absolutely infuriates me. I would be much less crabby without facebook but I'm just liberal with the hide selection
That's it too. I found that I was way more bitchy/gossipy when I had Facebook. "Did you see what so and so just put on her page?" What am I, 12?
ReplyDeleteI hated when men would say something like, "Oooh, dangerous" when I put up a good pic. Umm, gross dude. Hella gross. Haha.
I have ruminated these very same thoughts!!! I too, have become quite bored with Facebook, although I do still have an account. I have fantasized about a day (what am I saying, a YEAR'S SABBATICAL!) free from all technology and really connecting to life in all it's gritty, gorgeous goodness. I love this post....I may very well link it to my own post along the same topic, if I may.
ReplyDeleteYou are totally welcome to link to this post. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming by to check out the blog.
I think technology is a great tool for us, but I do believe that most people rely on it too much. Kind of like I rely too much on my cable tv.
"I used to have a Facebook account. I posted far too much on this Facebook account. I still, to this day, have friends tell me, "Facebook isn't the same without you" or "I miss your ridiculous Facebook posts." I smile and say stuff like, "Aww, shucks." I don't miss Facebook one bit, and I can honestly say I will never have a Facebook, nor a Twitter account, ever again."
ReplyDeleteThis sounds a lot like me. Before I left Facebook, one person told me that I and another person she knew from high school were the only reason she was on Facebook. I left under a week later. I wonder if she is still on. I hope not, as I feel Facebook contributes little to nothing to a person's life. In fact, I honestly feel that Facebook does far more damage than good. For business, Facebook may make some sense, as it is a way to advertise, but for the average person trying to forge social relationships, Facebook's harms outweigh it's boons. This is seen in the form of wasted time and productivity, comparing one's self to others, and the urge to brag about every faucet of one's life.
Congratulations for leaving Facebook. It is not easy. I had a heck of a time letting go, often reactivating after a month or two away. I hope more people learn that life is much richer and rewarding without Facebook being in it. (http://www.facebookdetox.com)
I think it's a personal choice, but yes, it is ruining social interaction in my opinion.
ReplyDelete