No matter where I'm at or what I'm doing, I have the keen ability to within ten minutes have people say, "I like her." I am always a smash hit when I meet the parents of the boyfriend. If there is someone I find interesting and I want to know them, I simply walk up and introduce myself. Just now in the hall the Director of our Child Development Division walked by and I said, "Hey Camille. I need to come see you soon. I want to work with you guys and I want to come over and explore some of my options. I'll send you a meeting request this or next week." She said, "That sounds great Melanie. I'll be waiting to hear from you!"
I notice the more reliant folks become on email and such, the less they are able to look someone in the eye and have a thoughtful conversation. People are becoming more and more socially inept and unable to interact in a real life social setting. It's why I also have dinner parties. I have shrunk the group size down to 10 or less as I found the larger parties made it difficult to really visit with everyone. The next party will be a mid-century food themed party. Hello tomato aspic, pigs in a blanket, and deviled eggs!
I think it's really important to get out in the real world and have meaningful conversation with others. The interpersonal connection where you get to look in to someone's eyes, or perhaps give them a meaningful touch on the arm to really take a message home, is something I cherish. I couldn't live my life without it.
Also, the reason internet dating was so weird for me is that I'm the exact opposite of most. Most people come across far better communicating via electronic message. They have time to come up with "witty" retorts (I put that in quotes because it isn't wit when you've had a day to think it up), and they don't have to worry about a bad reaction to something they've said. I, however, come across FAR better in person.
I will say on the first date with Unicorn I kept tripping over my words and not being able to form complete sentences. I was totally and completely nervous which does NOT happen to me, and that's how I knew he was going to be someone important. At one point I was walking over rocks and I was trying to say, "Oh, now you're making me go through some damn obstacle course to get places." But I couldn't think of the words "obstacle course." So I said half the sentence and said, "What's one of those things where you have to get through stuff?" Seriously, that came out of my mouth. And he still liked me after that. :) Several times throughout that day I would be like, "God, I can't think of it!" and he would whisper the word I was trying to think of in my ear. How very helpful. And we would laugh heartily. I told him, "This is totally your fault mister magic steal my words man. I never get like this."
Okay, I got on tangential sap mode for a minute. He does that to me. Back on topic Melanie!
The point of this was just to say that I enjoy in person human interaction. I think texting and phone calls are for when you don't have the opportunity to get together in person. They are a backup and a lovely way to stay in touch. But they are most definitely not my favorite way to interact.
Happy picture of the day: a gorgeous vintage Yelloware jug that I just may have to buy myself from Etsy. I am a little obsessed with vintage dishes/housewares. This would be a lovely addition to my home.
Oh how do I agree with you!! Know something I have noticed? Say someone holds the door for you, you reply "thank you" and they say "yep". Like its too much effort to utter "you're welcome"...or maybe they feel like it is just expected that they do something kind for the next person. or maybe its too hard for them to talk. Haven't figured that one out yet.
ReplyDeleteOooh, that's a good one Melanie. I'm going to pay more attention to that from now on. If I get a "yep" to a "thank you" I might even ask, "Why did you say yep instead of you're welcome?" Very interesting.
ReplyDeleteI agree also, people just dont commu icate in person much. Even when they are together a lot of the time is spent with heads down typing to other people. I will say this online communication works for me because I have the quietest voice and no one can hear me unless they focus solely on me! So its nice to not have to worry about that
ReplyDeleteOh, there are parts of it I definitely love. It's how I interact with all you lovely blogger folks, so that's keen.
ReplyDeleteBut I don't hang out with people who have their heads down in their phone while we're together. That is one of my biggest peeves. So rude.
hmmm. long ago i heard that the most effective communication is face-to-face, the second best is via phone, the third best is via writing/email, the fourth best is via text. the further removed the contact is, the less effective/informative the communication is.
ReplyDeletei love email. i love texting. blogging is still pretty fun. i loathe phone conversations. LOATHE THEM. and i only like face-to-face contact with a select few people. i don't spread the love to the masses. lol. just a few get my time and attention. maybe i am missing out, but i kind of like it this way.
I like emailing and texting when I can't see the person face to face. But aside from you blogger friends, I don't have anyone in my life that I don't enjoy in person. If people annoy me, why the heck would I even want to email them?
ReplyDeleteI totally understand though. In this day and age I have grown to not HATE texting. But I still like looking in to someone's face and sitting with friends interacting in real time. It's so much more rewarding. Plus, the jokes are far better and tend to make me spew food out of my nose, which scarily enough, I like. :)
I am not a naturally outgoing person, so it's funny that I am a volunteer coordinator in my career right now. I have to chat people up all day! It has been great for me, though, because I am now completely comfortable talking to anyone I meet.
ReplyDeleteKianwi,
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome. You only did it because you had to. haha
I have always been a really social person, which is weird because I don't like the majority of people that I meet.
I do love my friends though. And I have more than I should so I have to schedule my time carefully if I want to get to see them all.
Totally agree! I'm also not bragging, but I can work a room or a small crowd and make (most) people like me like nobody else. It's odd, considering I'm actually someone who likes to be by myself, but the fact that I can interact with no commitment and just have fun with people is a talent of mine ;) I do still enjoy online communication though, for the same non-committal reasons.
ReplyDeleteI've found a lot of people appreciate the small talk when waiting in line or holding a door for them. If they don't--and everyone has their reasons; I don't judge--I move on. No biggie.
I also think there's a fine line between chatting people up (again, maybe they're going through something and want to be left alone) and simply being polite. If you can't say "Thank you," then "screw you."
Abby, Exactly! I have that same talent. I do what I need to do to get things done. This comes in handy at work, or if I am trying to get an art show for a friend.
ReplyDeleteI can pretty much tell the people who don't want to be bothered with small talk, and I leave those folks alone. But I do like small talk in a line or an elevator to make the time pass pleasantly. Other times even I am not in the mood for it.
The niceties are a necessity I think a lot of people have lost. There is a kid that buzzes me in the door at work and I say thanks to him every time he does it. I have never heard anyone else thank him. He's saving you from having to swipe your badge. It's a small thing he's doing, but it's a kind one that he is in no way responsible to do.
I'm suddenly beginning to wonder whether or not my own communications skills are shot. I dread having to talk to someone on the phone, even more in person.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm known among my quieter friends as "outgoing." o_O
-Barb the French Bean
Haha Barb. A lot of people are shy in person. I guess it all boils down to do you avoid it, or do you work on it and act kind when in social situations.
ReplyDeleteI prefer very much to talk in person, but I email or text if that isn't an option, and make the occasional phone call so I can hear someone's voice if it's a close friend or family member.
I couldn't agree more, although, I have to admit, I still struggle some in person with conversation. Or at least I THINK I do. I had a terrible time in middle/high school feeling like I couldn't ever 'jump in' to a conversation or strike up a conversation and I anguished over trying to interject my thoughts into a conversation. I am MUCH better about it now, but still prefer one-on-one to a group, although I've grown into myself in that way. I've always found my strength in my written voice.
ReplyDeleteI really think we are going to start seeing some serious ramifications to all the electronic 'interaction' that takes place now. Like someone else here said, people get together and STILL spend the whole time texting other people. I witnessed a dad and son out to lunch yesterday and I don't think they spoke 2 whole sentences to each other because they alternately took turns on their phones - texting, playing games, checking facebook or whatever.....crazy....
That's where I get annoyed: when people are out socially, not being social with those in their actual physical presence. It's very 1984 and it scares the shot out of me. People think we're more globally connected than ever which is true. But at the price of being less connected to the people right in front of us.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has SOME social anxieties interacting in group settings. Lord knows I sometimes get so overwhelmed in crowds I just have to leave.