Hood Rat At Heart

This is not a positive post. It is a real post. If you don't like real, I suggest you skip this one and pretend that I'm super nice and enlightened all the time. I, for one, can't pretend that.

I have been laughing a lot lately about people who feel the need to degrade others in the workplace. I laugh because I know the reason those people are so rude at work, is because there is nowhere else on earth they would get away with it. If they talked to someone on the street, the way that they talked to someone in that cubicle, they'd get their asses handed to them.

I used to feel the need to exert my power over others on a regular basis. I no longer need to do that. Sometimes though, my inner hood rat comes out. And you know what? I love her and she's not going anywhere.

Even though I always had a job, I also always hussled on the side. I always made money in not so legal ways to supplement my meager early childhood salary. Whether that be selling drugs, or just hussling a bartender or patron to get what I wanted when I went out for the night. To this day if I think that someone is trying to in any way threaten my livelihood, I will come at them with a vigor that frightens even me. I have a very strong survival instinct. It's why I'm still alive after all the stuff I've been through. And no one is going to take what I have worked so hard for, from me.

There are people, mostly women, who in my career at the state have tried to throw me under the bus. I kindly remind these people in not so certain terms, that this is a bad idea. My first state job was as an Office Technician. One of my co-workers asked me to file some reports, then skitted away quickly. Since I had gotten no direction, I went to the drawer with the old reports and saw how they were filed, and then filed the ones I was given the exact same way. It took me about three hours to sort and file these reports. The next day, this woman went to my supervisor and told her I'd just thrown the reports in the drawer, and I got called in to be talked to about it. I asked that my co-worker come in on the meeting. As soon as she sat down I said, "For one, you gave me no instructions on how to file these. I did so in the way that the others were filed: by report number and then oldest on the bottom, newest on top. Secondly, I would've come to you for further clarification but couldn't do so as you were on a personal phone call about your daughter skipping school, for over two hours. So please, you tell me exactly what it is that you think I should have done, and I'll be sure to do that next time." A few months later she came at me with something petty again, and I said, "And maybe if you didn't come in an hour and a half late, take a two hour lunch, then leave a half hour early, you could've finished that task yourself." That was the last I ever heard from her about my work.

My thing is this: I am EXTREMELY observant. You get that way after years running the streets with not so savory characters. When I'm walking down the street, I know when someone fifty yards behind me has sped up their walking speed. In the same way, I know who comes in late at work and who leaves early. I know how long people take on lunch. I know who is wandering around visiting instead of working. I know who has been on personal phone calls most of the day. I usually do nothing with this knowledge. I'm not your boss and it's not my business to time keep or make sure you're performing adequately. I am on the internet a ton at work too. The difference is, I've never in my career missed a deadline. My work is always completed well ahead of schedule. What I do know is this: if you try and get me in trouble at work, I will pull out my laundry list of knowledge and throw it in your face.

The other day one of the ladies was bitching about how people shouldn't get days off when school board items are due. I quickly replied, "And I'm sure very few people appreciate how you get two weeks off every year when board items need to be posted, as you are the one who posts them. But you know, we do what we can." She stuttered and tried to explain how her situation was different, and I just smiled. We all do this. Everyone is caught being a hypocrite sometimes. Hell, I know I'm guilty of it. I don't mind it being called to my attention, because that means I can recognize and fix it. Most people are not so happy to hear when someone else finds what they are saying utterly ridiculous.

You should really think before you try to play the fool. The person who is always running their mouth with something to prove, is rarely the one you should fear. If you try to be an ass to someone who you think is just this nice little innocent, you may get your ass handed to you when you least expect it. It's better to just not try to victimize others at all. Because then you won't have to ever feel the wrath of someone who is backed in to a corner. This house I'm sitting in is something I've worked hard for in life, and I'll be damned if anyone is going to do anything to threaten that. And I will never make any apologies for defending what is mine.

Happy picture of the day: my fuschia Pumas with a highlighter yellow stripe. They are so ugly, that they are amazing.