Upon Review

I find that this blog is really helpful to look back and see where I was and how I've changed and meandered throughout the year. Do you know I've been back blogging less than a year? It feels like so much longer! And so much has changed since I began this new portion of my journey.

I look back at posts about how I could never date more than one person at a time and I laugh. No wonder my love life was failing miserably at every pass! I was totally denying the one thing in my life that was going to make me most happy and fulfilled, which is having more than one partner and being okay with that. I sure was convinced that one guy at a time was the only way to be.

I look back at posts when I was completely convinced I was an alcoholic who could never drink again. And I am really grateful for the years of sobriety I had. The years where I was able to reflect with a mind unclouded and really get to the root of what it was that made me drink and do drugs like I did. The fact that I am now able to occasionally imbibe, and not drink to blackout status and completely overdo it, is a total miracle that even I am still getting used to.

I look back at posts and realize that I need to really try and put more humor in to my blog. In real life I am a goofy, joyful, and extremely hyper individual. This blog seems a little bogged in the serious. Which is just fine. It's its own entity and it should just go where it will. But I'd like to put more of my personality in to it. And a lot of that personality is way more funny than this blog is.

I think about the things that happened this year, both good and bad. One thing I can say is this: if you are a 20-something year old man with mommy issues, just end your own life. Don't go to an elementary school and take 18 fucking kindergarteners with you. That story kicked me in the gut like none other this year. I know a lot of tragic things happened, but that one got me the most. If that man weren't already dead, I'd shoot him myself.

I laugh about how I blatantly change from one day to the next. Talking total shit in a joke piece, then talking about how I don't like to talk shit in a serious piece. I love how honest it all is. That's the one thing I can say about this blog: I don't hold back and I don't care if it looks fractured and like I'm schizo. It just IS. I am glad I can be that honest and be unashamed when I do human hypocritical stuff.

I look back at the comments and think about how closely I've bonded with some of you folks, and it makes me smile. You guys have my back. You are amazing and wonderful folks and I still am shocked that anyone even reads this crap. It makes me feel incredibly blessed and I adore you all.

Oh, and I think we need to open up the lady blogger trip to men. I'll do a new post about that after the holidays. I just want whoever wants to, to show up and have fun with us in Fargo, ND. I think we can find some rad cabins or a crinkety motel and get a ton of rooms to share and have THE BEST time. I am going to aim to go for 5 days, but if some of you can only do a weekend that is fine. I want to explore a lot. I am using my tax money to buy my airplane ticket. I would like to do it in April or May. Any feedback as to what would work for you all is greatly appreciated. We will try to make it as convenient as possible, but obviously not everyone is going to be able to make whatever dates work best for most, and that is ok. I have a spare bedroom whenever any of you need a free place to stay in Northern California. And I'm kind of the best guide ever, if I do say so myself. :)

Anyways, thanks to all of you who have been along for this amazing ride. Thanks for those of you who joined somewhere in the middle and have become some of the people I adore most in the world. Thanks for you new folks who I'm just meeting and getting to know. And thanks to all of you silent, secret readers who stop by every day and never comment. You are totally important to me too. And I'm glad you like my little slice of the world.

Happy picture of the day: tall bikes. Because I obviously like being a dumbass and getting hurt, I'm going to be building one of these soon. My friends and I are starting a local outlaw bicycle club. We will use the tall bikes for bike jousting. I can't wait!!

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