Sexuality

It has come up in conversation a lot lately in my world. People asking questions about boundaries, rules, preferences and whatnot. It has made me delve in to my brain to verbalize things that you don't usually have to think or talk about in very much detail. You know you like men, or women, or both. You know the things you like when you are being intimate with someone and you talk about them as they come up. But in this new world they come up far more quickly and you really have to try and wonder why you have certain rules and boundaries, or why you identify one certain way.

Most if not all of my metamours (the wives/other girlfriends of the men I'm seeing) identify as bisexual while I do not. I have slept with women, but it has only been where there was a man involved. I do not see a woman and get all twitterpated the way I do when I am attracted to a man. I have never dated a woman. I've never been in love with one. And I've never been in bed with JUST a woman. Therefore I have considered the contact I've had in bed with women, to be more of a by-product. In fact, the reason I stopped having sex with multiple partners is I almost felt as if I was using women or doing them a disservice by sleeping with them to get to the better product in bed next to them. 'Cause that's how I see it. Oh, you're a woman, and you are there, and I'll make out with you, but only as the means to an end.

I believe that sexuality, along with most other things in your life, is a fluid spectrum. I don't think that anyone on the planet is 100% anything. I think everyone falls along a line from very hetero, to very gay, and it's not really so much a line as something that branches out in a ton of directions. No one is really at either end. Everyone is somewhere in the middle. I have always tried to be a person to realize that while I prefer certain things, I am not going to say never about anything. I believe you can't say you dislike something if you've never done it. You can ASSUME you wouldn't like it, but you can't truly know. There are things I know I do not enjoy where intimacy is involved. I rarely say, "No, I will never do that again." Sometimes I do. But it's a rarity.

I know that in order to feel like I'm experiencing the most I can out of life, I am willing to do a lot of things that most people see as perverse. I am willing to say, "I have tried that before and didn't like it, but maybe with you it'll be different." I am okay with, "Nope, never even thought of that. Let's check it out." As with most other things in my life, I want my intimate encounters with people to make me happy and feel complete. I want to feel like I can look in the mirror and know I didn't miss out on something just because society says it's not normal. I have never been one to attach to the normal. But I also don't want to do things just because they are different. I want to say no to things that I know would make me feel uncomfortable. And I do. I have two things that will NEVER happen while I'm naked with someone. And I'm okay expressing those boundaries.

I think in our society we have SO MANY things that people think are wrong, just because they are not their preference. As I have stated in many of my blog posts before, the "my way is the only right way" mentality is really a stifling and ugly one. It's something I don't ever want to express or feel. I want to respect that my way is the right way for me, and someone else is free to be the exact opposite. If you're not hurting anyone, and everyone is being honest and positive, there is no such thing as gross or wrong. People should do what makes them happy. But more important than that, people should want other people to do whatever makes them happy.

Happy picture of the day: me and Suzie taking a super attractive picture on our girl date.