I honestly have no idea if I'll end up with any of them, or if I even REALLY like any of them. All I know is I enjoy the company of the two, and I adore communicating with the other. He is really the one I get all giddy about. He raises cattle. He has a beard. He listens to Fugazi. He reads books that I have a hard time getting through. All of these things make me very interested. I get all butterfly tummied when we type messages to each other.
I am tired. So very, very tired, of dating. So I'm just going to ride this out. If I end up with someone, great. If I don't, great. All I know is once I follow these interactions through to their natural end, I am taking a break. I have not gotten enough time to myself lately. I have not gotten to exercise as much as I need to. I don't wake up early and start my day off right. I sleep in as long as possible before I have to get ready for work. This is not a good way for me to live. So I'm going to back off and relax a little.
I will continue to hang out with these people, and politely tell others I'm not in the mood to meet anyone new. I need to get back to my routines. I need to get back to the things that power my life and keep me whole. I need to do what it takes to keep my chin up and not feel exhausted all of the time.
I am going to Dave's Thursday night, which may in fact be a mistake. I'm going to go to dinner, snuggle, have fun, and then leave while politely telling him to not contact me again. I need to detach. I can not continue to text and talk with him. It's not fair to the new guys, and it most certainly isn't fair to me. Telling me you don't want to be with me, and then telling me, "I am jealous of the time that other people get to spend with you" is not okay with me. So maybe we can be friends somewhere down the line, but we most certainly can not do so now. So goodbye for now sweet Unicorn. Perhaps our paths will cross again.
I look forward to decompressing and having more me time. Not searching for new people I might have stuff in common with. Not waiting for someone to respond to a message with baited breath. I need some rest. It has been far too long since I've felt like I really had any. I have a girl weekend coming up. Four of us are going to the Santa Cruz house. I have been focusing on it like mad as I know it will be a wonderful time. I can not wait.
Happy picture of the day: Love.
I feel exhausted for you. Maybe you can get an award or something for it. Tell the last guy to bring a trophy instead of flowers.
ReplyDeleteThat graffiti is the BEST! I'd let that artist tag my house if he could create a mural of Chunk doing the Truffle Shuffle.
I swear my neighbors think I'm a prostitute. I'm okay with that because it makes me seem exciting.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it? I used to do the truffle shuffle with my best friend Patrick. Only the first time we did it, we were in a bar. When he pulled up his shirt I yelled, "Holy shit! How did I not know you were hairy like Chewbacca?" He was a little embarrassed. Meanwhile, my chubby torso did not phase me one bit. haha
It does indeed sound exhausting! Hopefully it will all be worth it and something will stick :) If not, a nice rest sounds like what you need to do. I'm voting for the cow guy, though!
ReplyDeleteOh, butterflies, isn't that the best??? I haven't felt that in a super long time, sad to say.
I'm voting for him too!!
ReplyDeleteI like the butterflies. They are fun.
In my defense, I haven't even been reading blogs lately...but...
ReplyDeleteHOLY MONKEY BUTTS!!!
What the HECK has been happening. I know what I'll be doing today - clearly I've missed too much news!
So no more Unicorn. I'm sorry to hear that. But it sounds like it you've got some other options opening up so good for you!
And as far as taking a dating break, I think that's a great idea. I stumbled into Scott when I least expected it.
It will happen, Melanie! One day, out of the blue you'll look up and BAM! Lightening! Thunder! Rainbows and Sunshine!
Good god I've missed you woman! Especially now that you wrote holy monkey butts.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm just taking things in stride and moving right along. It'll happen when it's meant to. I am just sad in that I honestly thought with Dave, I was done looking. But now with all that's happened after the break up, I know we are not a good pair. So I guess that's a good thing.
DUDE. dating is SO EXHAUSTING. some find it exhilarating. maybe those types don't have to work for a living? lol
ReplyDeletebe careful with the unicorn!!! ack!!!! you are wise to cut that off. i know this because i kept in contact with my last ex for way too long. and i pined and pined over him and hoped it would work out, and i wasted A LOT OF TIME ON THAT. sometimes it is hard to let people go. but it is in our best interest to do it.
and i am excited that you have new prospects. and i am excited that you are curious, yet wary of them. we will see what happens, no? in the meantime, i hope you get some much needed rest and time to yourself, and soon!
p.s. i was in santa cruz recently. BOY, what i would give to return to that place, particularly the 68 degree weather!!!! chilly temps sound a whole lot better than this STUPID HEAT WAVE that won't seem to go away!
Luckily I'm not pining. The more we talk the more I realize we are not for each other. But I still need the detach for sure.
ReplyDeleteThe three I'm hanging out with are all good. The one I am meeting tonight is the front runner and the one I really hope I like, and likes me back. But either way, I'm good. What's meant to happen, will.
I know, right? It has been over 100here for quite some time, and hideous. Some girlfriends and I are going back the 7th of September. I can't wait!
Wow...I'm exhausted for you just reading this. Sounds like Melanie time is just what the doctor ordered. I have to say, I am rooting for the cow dude...:).
ReplyDeleteYou never know - just when you stop an active pursuit, someone amazing might come along!
So are these other 3 guys more local?
I am rooting for him too! Haha
ReplyDeleteAll are within a few minutes. The furthest is in Davis which is about 20 minutes. He's the furthest.
Did I mention he's the furthest? *rolling eyes at self*
DeleteOh yeah, sounds like you definitely need to redraw the boundary lines with Dave.
ReplyDeleteI am completely cutting communication after tomorrow. It's the best idea.
ReplyDelete