Exploration

There is something going on with my computer at both home and work where I can not comment on your blogs. Know that if you are on my list I am reading every day, I just haven't been able to comment. Something going on with Blogger and my computers. It is bugging me to no end.

I am going to say to you some words that I never thought I'd get to say, or type, in my whole life. I am seeing a married man. I am seeing a married man whose wife I met on Sunday. A wife who is seeing two other people besides her husband. My whole life I thought I was built for monogamy. I'm learning that this may not be the case.

I have always been very open minded and had the philosophy that you can't say you don't like something unless you've tried it. I thought for sure I couldn't delve in to this world of polyamory. But after talking to several men on the dating website I started getting curious. I wanted to learn as much about it as possible. How do people make it work? How do you happily and healthily have a relationship with more than one person? I am really excited about the whole thing to be honest.

So when I made the decision to go out with this man, the first thing I said was, "It is really important to me that I meet your wife. I want you two to come over." I wasn't sure if this was appropriate. I found out that it is. They are all about being completely open and honest. And it was important to her that she like the other people that he dates. And when it comes down to it, she has veto power. If he likes someone and she doesn't, she can tell him she doesn't want him to see her. She said there has never really been an instance where that happened, as he generally picks pretty decent ladies.

Within a half hour of hanging out with her and talking to her, I had totally fallen in love with her. This is a woman that I want as a friend. They brought over their baby boy and their interactions with him were the way that I think parenting should be. I fell in love with the baby too. But that's not hard to do with a super cute one year old who is exploring, and learning, and using one of my plastic orange sporks to try and eat a fried green tomato.

I have never had jealousy issues. To me, jealousy is worrying about something before it happens. You should worry about and deal with things as they actually happen. That's one of the things I didn't get about Dave. Why end a relationship now, over bad things that MIGHT happen in the future? There are no guarantees in life. So have fun now and worry about the stress, when and if it actually happens.

I still have so many questions, and I will learn as I go. I'm not uncomfortable. It didn't feel at all weird when in the middle of making out with this man, he got a text from his wife saying it was late and was everything okay. He answered yes. I told him to get home and tell her I was sorry I kept him so long. There is a part of me that is still freaked out by how not freaked out I am about the whole thing, and how natural it feels. I gave him a kiss goodbye on Sunday, in front of his wife. That will take a while to get used to.

For now, I'm going to go with it. I probably won't get to see him that much, and I'm totally fine with that. We have fun together. We have a ton to talk about. We laugh and have a good time. Our first kiss felt right, and not awkward. I look forward to learning more about this lifestyle, and getting to know some more of the folks in this community. I can't say for sure this isn't all about childlike wonder and inquisitiveness. Maybe a few months from now I'll realize I can't do it. But for now, I can. And it feels pretty amazing.

 Happy picture of the day: Galaga. I love this game.

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