My Choices Aren't Judgment

I have two life choices I have made where there is slight judgment attached: not hanging out with people who are constantly tethered to their phone, and what I eat. The first one just seems so inconsiderate to me. When hanging out with other people, you should live in the moment and enjoy their company. You shouldn't be playing a turn of words with friends, or updating Facebook, or tweeting. I guess because I try and be really mindful and live in the now, I don't comprehend why people can't, and I don't want to comprehend. I think just because it is the norm for people to be out in a group, all with their cell phones in hand, doesn't mean I have to like it. And there are plenty of people you can hang out with who find it perfectly acceptable. But why go out at all if you're going to have your head down buried in phone stuff the whole time? Save money and stay the heck home! The food thing is just because I wish people would take better care of themselves. All of the processed, genetically modified, and food-like substances people are eating is making them sick. Everyone has the right to make themselves as sick as they want, but I think it's really irresponsible that companies make products that are so unhealthy, and then consumers care so little what goes in to their bodies that they don't research what these things are, and what they do. It's weird.

All of my other choices have zero judgment attached, yet as I have spoken about before, people get really defensive when I talk about them. My choice to never get married or give birth to kids is a huge one. The moment I mention it people start defending why they are married or have children. That's great. I have a lot of married friends and I love kids. I just choose not to join the ranks of the married, or the parents.

My choice to work out regularly and eat very portion controlled meals sends people in to a tailspin. I don't talk about it except on this blog. I don't bring up what I'm eating, or why I'm eating it, when hanging out with people. You will never hear me comment on someone else's food choices unless they ask me a specific question, or ask my opinion. I try to actually do this in all aspects of life: only offer opinion if it is asked for. Unwarranted and unsolicited advice is very self serving. It's something I'm constantly working on. I would appreciate it if others didn't have to constantly comment when I'm going out for my morning walk, or when I unpack my lunch things like, "Oh, you're so good!" It makes me want to punch them in the face instead of smiling and getting away from them as quickly as possible.

I know there are a lot of people in the world for whom their choices are a judgment call. They live in a certain neighborhood because they think neighborhoods like mine are the ghetto where their families wouldn't be safe. A lot of judgment is just born of ignorance. Ignorance is puzzling because in this day and age it's almost like you have to try REALLY HARD to not gain knowledge. I think it's actually harder to be stupid right now, than it ever was in history. So for people to choose not to try and learn and understand things, is baffling to me. I don't judge it, because I do know sometimes ignorance is bliss and not knowing leaves you in your safe little bubble, and sometimes it's hard to break out of that. I can't live that way.

I tend to need to avoid a lot of places and certain types of people so as not to send my anxiety in to overdrive. When I tell people, "Oh, I would never go there" it's not a judgment. If you go there, and you enjoy it, that's great. I can't either due to noise level, the type of clientele that frequents it, or other factors which cause me great stress. I don't need to like the places you like. It most certainly doesn't mean I judge you for going to them. Since I have chosen to reject medication to deal with my issues, I choose behavior modification instead. I have a lot of friends on meds and I think that's great if it helps. I just hate big pharm and I would like to not support them if I can avoid it. The fact that I was recently able to get off of all pain meds was HUGE for me. I am so much happier knowing I'm not supporting that kind of stuff. I have friends whom I know have no choice. I feel bad for them and wish they weren't in such pain.

The other day I sent a picture of me drinking a Pabst to Matt and he said, "I don't get Pabst." I responded, "You don't need to. You're not the one drinking it." It's really that simple folks. I don't have to love what you love. You don't have to understand why I avoid places in town and don't like them. All we have to do is have mutual respect for the people in our lives, and carry on peacefully. And maybe, just maybe, poke fun and playfully laugh at our friends who like Crocs (I have one of those...a croc wearing friend. It's hard).

Happy picture of the day: JD McPherson. Because he's my secret husband. And JD, next time you come over, can you go ahead and bring that lamp with you? I need it. Thanks.

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