One of them seems like the only thing we may have in common is a love for whole foods.
One has already totally cracked me up on several occasions but all that may be there is humor.
One is sober and seems pretty grounded and awesome, and of the three is the one I find myself most drawn to.
I am in no rush to couple again, but I am also not totally opposed to the idea. What's nice is that this time around I am not finding the site so daunting that I want to get away from it. I've gotten a few messages that have made me laugh, a few that have made me really feel bad that grown men are so lost, and a few that I honestly went, "Why would that guy even send me a message?" It is nothing if not fodder for amusement.
The last time I attempted this it was maddening and frustrating, and I wasn't going at it with the ease and laid back attitude I have for it this time. Whatever is supposed to happen will. This may seem like a ridiculous sentence to write when you just put a profile on a dating site, but a little help never hurt anyone. With my busy and full life it really is quite impossible to meet men. So I did what I wanted to do. Hopefully I can keep a positive attitude about the whole thing.
The one thing I have changed this time around is that I'm not responding to EVERY message. I used to at least write a, "Hey, thanks for the note, but because of __________ it seems we may not be a very good match. Good luck in your search!" I find that some people don't even deserve that much, and it just opens you up to really ugly back and forths.
Also, I'm going to stay true to the fact that dating multiple people at a time is not my gig. I usually find someone of interest and give them my attention. If that doesn't pan out I move on. I wasn't built to hang out with a ton of men at a time. It makes me feel weird and ooky. Like I'm supposed to make this guy try out until the next, sparklier guy comes along. That's not okay in my book. More power to you folks who can see a bunch of people at a time. I can't. I have a hard time just talking to several people at a time. It's like some weird competition. I only do competition when I'm playing Wii. I will kick your ass at Wii bowling, even though I suck at real bowling. I just reminded myself I need to go bowling very soon.
The most amusing thing is there's a guy still on there that I went on a few dates with the last time around. I called him out on some stuff right before I decided hanging out with him was dumb. His pictures were 10 years and 30 pounds ago. One time he said something about having never lied to me and I responded with, "Your whole profile is a lie, down to the pictures that are of you in the wonder years. I was hot and thin in my 20s too." He has that same main profile pic up. I only know 'cause I can see who viewed my profile and he did. And it made me think how when I walked in to the spot where we first met I kept looking around for the guy, and a gray haired 30 pound heavier dude turned around and said hello. Hi, red flag Melanie. Jesus!
Anyways, I just really want to stay in a space where the single life is a happy option, but I'm not ruling out the possibility of having someone to share things with. I tend to operate really well with someone to care about. I also tend to operate really well when all I have to do is focus on myself. What's funny is the day after I wrote the bad first date post, the act of just letting that all out, made me back to comfy single me. Sometimes being blue and angry can be resolved by just the act of writing things and putting them out in to the blogosphere. So I'm glad to have this online diary that helps me hash out my shit. And it really is shit most of the time. I love that my moody is out there for everyone to see, and I'm finally not ashamed of it. I am Melanie, hear me roar! Or hear me burp. What? I'm gassy today because of my horrible "running around to find whatever you can near the hospital" diet I was on Tuesday. Seriously, that shit was hectic.
Dad update: turns out he had motherfucking eCOLI!!!!! It caused inflammation of his pancreas and gall bladder. He just has to be on heavy antibiotics for a few days at the hospital, then he gets to go home. Last night I drove all the way to the hospital to give him a huge hug and tell him to stop eating shit. 'Cause I'm a good daughter.
Happy picture of the day: Leon The Professional is one of my favorite all time movies, and I really like the art this guy is doing.
I find that I am a little envious of all the possibilities open to you. I hope you find someone fabulous who appreciates you
ReplyDeleteWhy thanks lady! And I hope you don't get any school emails today. :)
ReplyDeleteThe red beard guy drew me in because he listed authors I'd never heard of and when I looked them up, they looked like people I would be very interested in reading. I like someone who can teach me new things.
Good luck.
ReplyDeleteIs is a mountain man beard or is it neatly done? I'd question the neatly done beard because that might imply he is shallow and takes too much pride in his appearance whereas a mountain man beard is manly and says things like, "I killed that elk with my bare hands while it was trying to commandeer a Hummer."
I've been with Scott longer than the online dating sites have been around so I never got a chance to use them. When eharmony was first making waves, I begged Scott to sign up with me and see if it paired us together. He wouldn't. Sometimes, he can be such a stick in the mud.
Oh, it is most certainly not a neatly maintained manscaped beard. Those are nasty. If he had that and was truly nice I'd get over it though. Hell, Rich had a little lip beard which I DETEST, but it wasn't that big a deal.
ReplyDeleteHe rides a motorcycle and is tattooed from head to toe. I don't think he's the manscaping type. Let's hope his pubes are though. What?
The sites are what they are. There are very few good folks on them and a ton of treats. (I say treats like douchebags, douche canoes, brosefs, and the like).
I am going to find my Scott some day. I totally have faith that I have an other half out there. I really do.
Good luck with the online dating and enjoy the process. I know many people think of it as work and w/e, but I say have fun with it :)
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you are already talking to 3 different men. It's also funny to hear how you are already drawn to one particular one! It's crazy how we know who we like or don't like typically within the first 5 minutes.
I haven't heard back from the other two since I wrote this so I'm just talking to redbeard now.
ReplyDeleteWhat's cool is even if it doesn't turn in to something romantic, I can totally see him being a new friend, and I'm cool with that.
I dated online a few years ago and had so much fun. The lying dinks who ended up being 50lbs heavier than their pic, unemployed, and living in Mommy's basement were annoying, but ultimately gave me a lot of laughter material.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of it because you can be totally upfront in your profile (I wrote that I was allergic to children). It can cut through a lot of crap.
Awesome news about your dad (as awesome as E-coli can be, anyway)! Glad he's okay.
I just come across way better in person that I do online or via text. I'm the exact opposite of most people.
ReplyDeleteOh, and he didn't have eColi it turns out. He went septic 'cause passed a stone through his pancreas and that's what caused the blood infection. They wouldn't remove his gall bladder so he'll have to go back in a few months when he has another issue, which is really stupid. They should've just taken the damn thing out.
Why didn't they just take it out? That sounds pretty awful that he's going to spend time sitting around waiting to be in pain again. Crazy.
ReplyDelete