Relationship Necessities

I will be the first to admit I have pretty high expectations. I expect people to act in a genuine and courteous manner at all times, or to at least make me laugh when they're being rude assholes. There are quite a few things I require in order to be friends, or more, with someone. Here is what they are.

Open lines of communication. I don't need to see you all the time, and I don't need you to be around all the time. But I do expect to hear from you time to time. I also expect if you are going to be late, or need to cancel, you give ample notice. I know shit happens. But shit doesn't happen every time you're supposed to be somewhere.

Respect for the person that I am. I have a ton of quirks, and I make zero apologies for them. I am working on a lot of them. But I can tell you right now if you come to my house and think it's funny to move my coffee table so it's crooked, or leave the toilet seat up on purpose, you will probably not be coming over again. Respect that the things in my house are just so, just as I respect that your house is not spotless like mine is.

Honesty. If you think something, I will get more offended if you don't say it, than if you do. I am totally able to take criticism and listen to your point of view, as long as it is honest and not purposely meant as an attack 'cause you're feeling less than at the moment. And I DO know the difference.

You need to extend invitations now and again. There are some people who I feel I'm always the one trying to get together or make plans. I stopped doing that. You can get pissed 'cause you haven't heard from me all you want. But just remember that your phone dials out too, and that your car knows how to get to my house.

There will always be reasons to back out on plans, or not keep a commitment to hang out. I think once you've made a plan you need to honor that unless it's absolutely unavoidable. If you cancel on me one too many times for something like you stayed out too late the night before, that's not okay in my book, and you'll notice I'm backing off.

If you have CONSTANT drama, I will run the other way. I don't care if you're blood. If I call you and you always have a tale of woe, I'm probably not going to call you anymore. You have a choice in life to live engulfed in drama, or not to. I choose not to, which includes not surrounding myself with drama hounds. Some people love drama as it is a great way to ignore the issues you need to work on in yourself. I want nothing to do with that stuff.

Kindness to children and animals, and a good relationship with your folks. I see it as a huge character defect when people are not kind to children and animals, and when they still blame their parents for why their life doesn't work. You are an adult, get over it. Make amends. Your folks did the best they could. Obviously, there are exceptions such as if your home was extremely abusive. Then cut those people off like a diseased limb, and don't look back.

I can't hang out with you if you create your own stresses, and don't do anything to lessen them. Facebook and Twitter getting you down? Get rid of them. Have a friend who is always giving you problems? Get rid of them. Nothing in life that causes you drama is unavoidable. Unless you have food issues. Of all the problems this is the one I have most sympathy for. Everything else you can abstain from. You can't simply NOT eat. That's a hard one and I know many people who constantly struggle with it. It's a hard battle to fight.

I need you to cut the tether to your electronic devices when we are together. If you get a call or a text and you have to respond I get it, but it's okay to put that thing down and be present in the moment. I think people use these things as a fall back when conversation doesn't go smoothly, or things get awkward. More and more people have no idea how to look someone in the eye and have an adult conversation. I blame over dependence on social networking and smart phones. Put it down and have a real life. It'll be okay, I swear.

Despite all of these things I require from others, I am really as easy going as you can be, when you have as many obsessive issues as I have. When my sister comes to stay I know the guest room is going to look like a tornado hit it, and that's fine. I just have her keep the door closed and know that she will straighten up before she leaves. It is not just the job of others around me to bend to my whims. It is my job to compromise where I can, so I can enjoy the company of awesome people.

The expectations I have for others comes nowhere near the expectations I have for myself. I'm done apologizing to people because I need people to act like responsible adults. Responsible adults who like to have themed Glamour Shots parties and talk about farting all the time, that is.

Happy picture of the day: Roxy looking like she only has two legs. When she looks like this I call her seal cat. She looks to me like a baby seal. "Give me your fur, cat!"