Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Don't Worry About My Money

Sometimes on my way home I see little goth/punk kids and I have now twice heard one of them utter "sell out" when I walked by. It made me laugh to myself, and I kept on walking. But I think about my 15 year old self, and if I saw tattooed me, in slacks and a blouse, I may have said the same damn thing. In fact, I'm quite sure that I would have. The beauty about being 15 is that you think you are going to get to live your whole life on passion, doing what you think is right, and you assume the world will just take care of you somehow. Then you turn 30, and you realize that is not the case. But it also made me think about why people concern themselves so much, with the lives of others.

What is wrong with someone not wanting to struggle financially? Why does everyone assume you can't be a decent human being, and make money while doing it? I know just as many poor assholes, as I know rich assholes. An asshole is an asshole.

I got the inspiration for this from Trixie (her blog is here.) She had a post that has since ended up deleted, that got me to thinking about how much people accuse others of doing something, when they really have no clue what kind of life that person leads. Someone called her a name and it was totally inappropriate and weird, and it made me think. People are constantly saying things like, "I can't believe Oprah buys 11,000 dollar purses!" Who cares? Her buying an 11,000 dollar purse is like me buying a 400 dollar purse. And I have done that before. Why do you care what someone else spends on something?

So many times I hear people making statements about someone who is wearing an expensive pair of shoes and I don't know if it's jealousy, or boredom, that makes them say something negative about that person because of it. I have gotten to a place where stuff like that isn't important to me. But there was a time when I'd pay several hundred dollars for a first edition of a book. Everyone has their things they like to blow money on. Anyone who says they don't, is a liar. Unless you're so broke you don't have any liquid income after bills and feeding your family.

I was verbally accosted by someone because I go out to eat at places that cost over 100 dollars per person and I just laughed and said, "It's either that, or the blow and alcohol. I'll choose expensive restaurants." There has always been something in my life that I can look at and say, "I spend too much money on that" and there always will be. You know what I've never said? "________ spends too much money on that."

The only time I've ever concerned myself with someone else's money, is when a family member will talk about how they can't get their kid new glasses or shoes, but they have Starbucks every day. I have been known to blurt out something like, "Go a month without Starbucks and you've just saved over 100 dollars. There's your glasses/shoes."

I have had people get mad at me when I say I'm broke and can't do anything, but I still go out with someone else. My idea of broke is when all of my money for the rest of the month is spent on plans I already have. I am a planner. For this month, I am taking my mom to a buffet for Mother's Day, and I have $140 set aside for a trip to San Francisco. I also have more veggies to buy for dinners. Plus, I have lunch plans next week. So although I may have money, it's all accounted for. Therefore, I'm broke.

Bands that start off small and play $10 shows, if they're good, often end up playing bigger venues and earning more money. That's the way that stuff works. The only band I've known to get popular and not do something like that is Fugazi. They weren't in music to make money. They refused to play shows that cost more than 10 bucks, and they didn't sell shirts. They encouraged kids to make their own shirts. This is the exception. If a person wants to make a ton of money doing what they love, more power to 'em.

I guess what it all boils down to is why would you concern yourself with someone else being a "sellout" or living a life that you don't think you agree with? Why don't you just live your life to the best of your ability, and if you don't like someone, just don't hang out with them? The phrase, "Keep my name off your lips" comes to mind. So many people need something to bitch about all the time. I know I sometimes find myself bitching about people. I vent like a mad woman. But then I let it go.

I think the world would be a much better place if everyone stopped concerning themselves with the lives of others. Yeah, that douchey guy in the BMW might annoy me. But that guy might also be going through some rough shit that I don't understand. I have a lot of work to do on my compassion and judgmental ways. I think it's something everyone should be working on.

Happy picture of the day: from Failbook. I laughed so hard when I read this. It's genius.


8 comments:

  1. So very true! My only complaint about other people spending money was when I taught. Students would come in without supplies (meaning I had to buy them cause you can bet the school didn't give me enough!) but then they'd whip out there latest Iphone or what not! That irritated me not because they had something expensive but because I had to use my money to supply them with paper and pencil!

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  2. When I taught I had a parent whose daycare was paid for by Child Action but she drove up in an Escalade with a remote starter. I reported her but they said since all her income was in her husband's name, there was nothing they could do. It sucked 'cause there were other parents who truly needed the help, but couldn't get it 'cause people like her know how to work the system.

    I'm sorry but your children come first. You give up all that stuff like Starbucks and fancy phones if you have to, so they are provided for. That is the one time I'll get pissed at someone talking about money.

    The thing that pissed me off when I taught was when parents wanted me to teach their kid everything, but weren't willing to complete an assignment of reading 20 minutes a night to their child. Now that is horrible parental behavior.

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  3. She called me a lady of leisure because we are going to Europe. She could go to Europe because they make double what we do but she signs her kids up for very activity there is so they never have time

    OMG number one complaint of teachers here doing drop off duty at school is they watch the kids who get free lunch being dropped off in escalades!

    My husband gets shit from his family because he works hard, they call him a sell out. They never say anything positive.

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  4. I have only been to Europe 'cause my mom bought my airplane ticket and my sis lived there so I had a free place to stay. I travel a ton and I am by no means well off. I just save up and make it a priority, so I get to go somewhere awesome once or twice a year.

    Exactly! People who get money when others who need it can't get it, really annoy me, but I have to let it go. There's nothing I can do about it.

    My family is the opposite. When I was doing what I loved and was REALLY poor, they hated seeing me live like that. My mom finds money far more important than anyone I know. I think it's because she grew up extremely poor. So she didn't want to see any of her kids living that way. I am now lower middle class, and I couldn't be happier.

    Of course, I'd like to make a little more so I could do the little upgrades my house needs, but that'll happen in time. Patience isn't one of my strengths.

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  5. This is so true!! People (me included) make statements when we don't even know 1/3 of the truth! What do we know about other people's lives? Nothing, unless we live it!!

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  6. I make jokes at the expense of others all the time. But when it comes down to it if someone is a good person, I could care less what they wear or if their hair is weird.

    I do still make fun of the people I know who wear crocs though.

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  7. I once had a rich co-worker criticize how I, a poor college kid, spent my money on a trip to France (I had saved up for years to go). This coming from the same lady who traveled all over the world and then bitched about currency exchange rates. Ugh.

    -Barb the French Bean

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  8. I feel sorry for people like that. They have so little appreciation for their blessings. That's a miserable way to exist.

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