I touched on it a little in my post about my friends, but I think it deserves a totally dedicated post of its own. In order to amuse myself and pass the time I have made up many strange games in my time. Most of them involve music in some way or another, and a ton involve rhyming or bad puns. I'm kind of a sucker for punny stuff. Find me a restaurant called Juan In A Million and I'm eating there. You work at Pho King? I'll be seeing you in a few. Examples you ask? Why sure!
The lunch game. This game is great, and I guarantee you will NEVER get to the end of it 'cause there are so many variations. You find any song that has "love" in it as a noun, and replace it with "lunch." For instance, "What's Lunch Got To Do With It," "You Give Lunch A Bad Name," and so on. It sounds dumb, but if you do it, I swear you will get addicted. If you are like me you will go further and then change the rest of the words, so that they relate to lunch. "What about lunch? Don't you want someone to make it for you? What about luhunnnch? Don't let it rot awayheeyay." Then you'll not play for a month and hear some song with the word love as a noun that you totally forgot about, and you'll get all in to it again. It's awesome. I've been playing the lunch game for well over a decade. It started when I lived with this gal named Katy in my late 20s. We also made up a dance to Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" wherein you did weird stuff to the crashing noise in the instrumental part. We also said, "I heart..." before it was all over the place. I'm not saying we made it up. I'm just saying we said it before we had ever heard anyone else say it. She worked at a dry cleaner and the hangers had "We <3 Our Customers" on them. I said, "We heart our customers!" and then we ran with it about how we hearted everything.
Singing a song purposely to get it stuck in someone's head. This is especially great if it is a song you know they detest. I had a friend who HATED Sister Christian. I set it as her ringback tune on my phone. You should never tell me which band or song you detest. You do, and I'm going to occasionally start humming it when you're around. Or I'll send you the YouTube link acting like it's some great new underground band you need to hear. Also, playing this game has made me wonder how I know every word to so many songs I shouldn't. I am like bad song god damned Rainman.
Be totally offensive so as to shush people who are next to you having totally asinine conversations at raised volume so everyone around them can hear them. Never have I talked about fisting or anal sex faster than if someone is next to me talking loudly about how rad it is that their bro got laid at the last party he went to while playing beer pong. If someone is wearing a flat billed baseball cap, talking about bullshit, you can find me right next to them saying how my last period was so heavy at one point a giant clot the size of a golf ball came out causing toilet water to splash all over the place. Like a giant bloody bidet. The last time we were next to a couple trying to be really snooty about wines, when they obviously knew nothing about them, I loudly told my friend if she didn't stop what she was doing I was totally gonna punch her in the vagina.
I just realized if I numbered these they would've been a Jaxesque sort of list. Only a really short list 'cause I'm too lazy to list ten even though I have probably made up way more than ten ridiculous games to waste time.
Happy photo of the day: I walked by this on the way to lunch the other day. It was hard for me not to write a note to put on the windshield that said, "I don't know whether to love you or to hate you. All I do know is that I totally don't get it, and that almost makes you my hero."
What the what, man?
If you love pun shops, I just found a dog groomer in my town named "Dirty Hairy". I'd go to a pillow store named "Fluffers" or a hot dog store called "Meat Sleeves".
ReplyDeleteYour period clot thing made me snort, unfortunately I read this in a public area next to a friend whom I had to explain it to.
Tell me you saw the owner of that contraption. Because it makes all the difference if they are an IT nerd or a "bro".
Oooh, those are good ones!
ReplyDeleteYay that you snorted, then had to explain why. That makes me double happy.
The owner was not around. It was parked outside an apartment complex. I of course made up a story what the owner must be like. The short form is a guy who lost both legs in the war. He is often seen driving down dark empty roads, singing Winger songs at the top of his lungs.
lol at THAT CAR! so stupid! but points for hilarity!
ReplyDeleteand the singing songs that others hate is really really really fun. we used to have music wars where i work. i would lose my mind if bon jovi came on the radio, and my (former) co-worker would crank it every time. i ended up laughing. what else are you going to do?!
With me it's Sublime or Cake. Both bands give me the heebs. Funny every time still.
DeleteThe lunch game? I'm going to have to try that!! Sounds like a blast ;) Besides, I have a fear of the real L-Word. hahaha
ReplyDeleteHere's one for you: Every time you see an RV, place the word "anal" in front of the name of the RV. I literally crack myself up driving down the freeway. Example: "Anal Renegade". Hee hee.
ReplyDeleteSounds like quite the game
Delete@Jax,
ReplyDeleteI can totally see you playing it.
@undercover,
Hell yeah to anal games!!!! What?
Dude, your period clot bit is awesome! I'm going to use that one for sure, especially if the incest angle ever gets old.
ReplyDeleteYour 'lunch' game reminds me of a Star Wars 'pants' game a few years ago. Same idea, just replace a line in SW with the word 'pants.' Like, "Curse my metal pants, I wasn't fast enough!"
Ooooh, I do adore your pants game. I am going to play it often. Thanks lady!
ReplyDelete